self esteem – Ali Soleil

Mar

Love or Rage Which Would You Choose?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Have you ever felt like you could self combust with rage? I know I have. When things just seem to keep going wrong? Like the domino effect, one thing triggers the next…. Arrrggghhhh!

Once you find yourself sliding down this slippery pathway to a meltdown it seems the only thing to do is just keep on sliding, doesn’t it? Saying “I knew that was going to happen”… and it usually does.

This is where things can change. I can now do it, and I know you can too.

So what is ‘it’? Well, ‘it’ is love. Love is the greatest feeling of all wouldn’t you agree? If you’re feeling love in your heart and body – is it possible to be in a rage at the same time? I don’t think so. They are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, aren’t they? You get what you focus on so choose carefully – happiness or anger/frustration?

Rather continuing down the path way to complete meltdown and rage try these 7 tips:

STOP. Take a moment to acknowledge how you are feeling and focus on your breathing. Decide to take a few moments out for yourself.
Gain some perspective on the situation. Is it really as you imagine/find it or is there another way of looking at it? Could you be kinder to yourself in this moment than you are currently being?
Depending on where you are or what your circumstance continue to focus on your breathing, close your eyes if it is safe to do so… imagine you are breathing in love, imagine seeing the beautiful colours of love being drawn towards you and circulating around your heart, maybe see butterflies and bubbles.
Breathe out all the frustration.
Focus on a better feeling thought – love. Perhaps someone you love and focus your thoughts on some of the qualities within that person or remember back to a time when you felt so happy, so full of laughter. Focus on those thoughts for a few moments and allow yourself the time to refocus on positive feelings and thoughts.
Give yourself the gift of a smile and let go.
Relax your tense muscles and open your eyes to a more positive reality.

Quote of the day: “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” Author Unknown

Feeling like you could do with some support right now, drop me an email and let’s have a chat?

Wishing you so much happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com Facebook – www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged 7 tips, ali soleil, anger, change, daring damsels, emotional spectrum, love, meltdown, Rage, self combust, self esteem | Comments (0)

Mar

Where Is The Love?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

It’s been a great day so far, lots of time to catch up on my business and also to connect with some special friends. I hope you’re having a good day too!

Something keeps on being said in my head today – which is “Where is the love?” and it’s sung in Justin Timberlake’s voice! He sang a song with the Black Eyed Peas that has this as its title. I thought I’d drop you a line and see if it resonates with you.

It ‘should’ all be so simple really, shouldn’t it? We are love. We give love. We love to receive love. And yet so many of us are pushing against the flow of love and feeling the resistance – which pushes us into a negative state.

When we feel fed up with our children, our partners, our friends, we can so quickly go from 0 – 60 in 5 seconds feeling anger or resentment building up inside of us. When this happens “where is the love?” And that’s it really. Where does it go in that instance?

Listening to some fabulous friends today talking about their situations, I ventured to ask them the question “where is the love?” It stopped them in their tracks. If you could take a step away from the situation, take some deep breaths, choose to focus on feeling some love for that person – how could you handle a situation differently?

How about next time your inner gremlin says something unkind – ask yourself the question “where is the love?” (with or without Justin’s voice!)

Quote of the day: “Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” Gary Zukav

Here it is! Sending you lots of love

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, black eyed peas, daring damsels, focus, friends, happy, justin timberlake, love, negative state, resentment, self esteem, Where is the love? | Comments (0)

Mar

Are you ready to step up? Here is my offer to you

Posted in Goal Setting, happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development, self esteem.

I was moved some years ago by a poem which I’d love to share with you. You may be familiar with the words of Marianne Williamson, I’m sure if you’re like me then you won’t mind reading them again.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I wonder how these words affect you? I know that the first time I read them I could see how I’d been ‘fitting’ in with everyone else and was keeping myself small so I didn’t stand out, didn’t want to risk criticism from others and lacked belief in myself – I didn’t want to be seen. Do you do this too? My self esteem was very low. It cost me relationships with friends and partners, I didn’t think anyone would find me interesting or my opinions. I felt I was a disappointment to my family, was happy to spend money on my children but not on myself, didn’t like myself very much, didn’t feel safe and was always worrying about things. And then good news - it began to change! I got some coaching and mentoring!

It was like the chains that were holding me a prisoner just dropped off and I was able to step into the light, regain my self esteem, discover who I really was and began to live my purpose to the full.

Whilst I didn’t have the money, I knew I didn’t want to put my life on hold and if things stayed as they were, I’d never have the money. I could see how much my flawed thought patterns and behaviours were costing me (and as a role model, future generations). I knew that my happy future depended on getting some support. I was ready to invest in myself so I borrowed some money and used my credit card. It was the best thing I could have done to set myself free and to release the ‘real’ me again!

Having a coach to ‘hold my hand’, someone who asked me the difficult questions that I’d never asked myself, who supported and believed in me, my really accelerated my progress. The results were tremendous! I still have a coach and a mentor today who support me to accelerate in other areas of my life - coaching is super powerful!

Do you feel ready to step into the light too? Have these blogs over the months been supporting you to make some changes which are creating a better life for you?

If you feel that you would like to accelerate your progress, invest in yourself and work with me on a one to one basis then I have an offer for you! This won’t be for everyone, but if your heart is telling you this is your time, then I have only 5 spaces to take on new clients currently. I would love to have an informal chat with you if you feel ready to shine.

Most clients choose book a series of 6 x 50 minutes weekly sessions with me as this is more effective than booking one off sessions. Your investment in 6 sessions is £497. However, as you are one of my loyal Damsels, I am offering you the opportunity of applying for one of these 5 places with a massive £100 off the usual price bringing this amazing offer to you at £397!!!! My mentor thinks I’ve lost the plot as my prices will be going up in the near future, and yet I feel in my heart that I want to do this for you. This blog will be seen many hundred ladies, many of whom have booked sessions with me in the past and who will want to snap up this bargain, so I urge you to be quick in replying. Please email me with ‘Application for discount’ in the subject line and a short message and I’ll get back to you asap to arrange our informal, no obligation chat ali@daringdamsels.com. This offer is only open to you for the next 7 days.

Let me know if you are ready to draw the line in the sand, to step up into the light to allow me the privilege of supporting you get your life ‘back’.

With love and happiness

Ali xx Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

www.daringdamsels.com www.fabfriendsnetwork.com www.facebook.com/daringdamsels

What do some previous clients say about their coaching/mentoring experience with me?

“Ali’s wonderful warmth and generous spirit puts you immediately at ease. Her intuition and empathy combined with a fervent support of what makes each individual woman uniquely special leads to a coaching session that is uplifting and inspiring. Ali will not only make you realise what is great about you, but help you on a path towards realising your own unique potential.” Yiannik Bennett, Florida

“Ali immediately made me feel very comfortable and safe during our coaching session with her friendly and empathetic approach. I had been blocked for some time and was unsure how to progress forward. She skillfully changed tack when it became apparent that I was not going to respond predictably but still enabled me to feel in control at all times. Due to her spontaneous and skillful creativity, we ended up achieving far more than I would have dreamed possible. As a result of the session, I at last feel able to move forward again, helped in no small way by the strategies and exercises she has given me. I give Ali highest recommendation. Anyone who is seeking sensitive and skilled guidance in their business or personal lives would benefit greatly by seeking her help”. Laurelle Rond, England

“What is special about Ali’s coaching is her gentle and compassionate approach, along with her perceptive and intuitive insights. Through her support and her powerful questioning, I have been able to see more clearly and be more empowered. I would thoroughly recommend her to anyone who wants to make deep and significant changes in their lives. Thank you Ali for all your help!” Hilary Reeves, England

“Ali has a great manner about her. She is patient and easy to talk to and really helped me to think about my priorities and focus in life.” Ros Kitson, England

“Ali is a wonderful, sensitive and compassionate coach and friend. She has helped me to get back in touch with my self worth and talents when I had lost sight of them, spending many years at home looking after my family. I now feel ready to move on to the next stage of my life and I am very grateful to Ali for helping me find the way.” Chris Iishin Horner, New Zealand

Tagged belief, criticisim, life coach, Marianne Williamson, mentor, personal investment, playing small, purpose, self esteem, stepping up, time to shine | Comments (0)

Dec

Feeling snowed under this Christmas?

Posted in Christmas.

Can you believe it’s almost Christmas? It seems like the last one was only a few months ago… not a whole year!

If you’re like me you’ve still got a list of preparations on your mind or written down which you feel need to be taken care of before midnight on Christmas Eve. Here in the UK we’ve been blessed with a lot of snow, which is even making online shopping touch and go… will the couriers get through with our orders? Will Santa make it?

I’ve been receiving many emails from my clients over the last few weeks who are really feeling the strain of the additional tasks which they ‘need’ to complete on top of their usual workload. Do you feel this too? If you do, you’re certainly not alone and I remember feeling this way especially when my girls were younger.

Looking back on those days of making everything ‘perfect’ I have to consider, who was it really for? At the time, I would have said for my husband and girls – to make their Christmas special and memorable. I also remember the high demands I put on myself to get it just right – even if I was exhausted, often staying up late in the run up to the big day, not usually getting to bed much before 1am on Christmas Eve feeling shattered. Is that you too?

With the beauty of hindsight I can honestly say that they would have had just much fun and enjoyed it as much if I’d done half the extras. One of the reasons could have been my lower self esteem. Wanting to over compensate for my lack of feeling good enough and so striving for perfection, not feeling confident to just make it ok (which would have been more than good enough). I’d usually be feeling cross and resentful that all the strain feel on my shoulders – but looking back… who was putting pressure on me? Only me….

If this is resonating with you, you’re not the only one. Remember it’s your Christmas time too. A time to celebrate, enjoy, put your feet up and scoff some chocs! I’m here to say you’re more than good enough already and if you need permission to let go and put yourself first, please let me give that to you now.

Taking care of you is more important than anything. Keeping well and happy, you’ll then be able to enjoy yourself whilst taking care of the others.

Consider what is essential, what has to be done. Keep it simple and real. Make a list if you find this useful and choose the most important tasks still to be completed.
Plan when you want to do your last food/present shop – and ask someone to help you if that will make it more efficient and enjoyable.
Acknowledge what you’ve already achieved.
Who could you ask to help share the load? Partner? Older child? Parent? Friend? Often partners seem oblivious to the strain and can’t understand why you’re feeling resentful, so do put them out of their misery. Lovingly let them know you would appreciate some help.
Say ‘no’ to others requests if it takes you away from your ‘to do list’ – choose not to feel guilty.
Remember to choose to take regular breaks of 5 minutes of so. Just stop, remember to relax, breath, focus on positive thoughts and how wonderful the days of Christmas will be. Feel gratitude for all that you have and for what you have achieved.
Reward yourself each evening with a treat. Perhaps a soak in a bubbly bath, a glass of wine, light some candles…
Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself, happily reflect, to celebrate the Christmas season.

I’m only ever an email/text/telephone call away if you want someone to speak to over Christmas, please don’t feel alone (go to contact me page for info).

I wish you a magical Christmas and a fabulous New Year!

With much love and celebration

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, asking for help, celebration, Christmas, christmas preparation, confidence, daring damsels, feeling lonely, mother, perfection, pressure, self esteem, strain, tips for Christmas planning, to do list, women | Comments (0)

Nov

Compliments – love them or hate them?

Posted in Uncategorized.

I hope you’ve been having a fabulous week! I’ve been reflecting on compliments this week after I was stopped in a supermarket by a lady who wanted to tell me she loved my dress! I’d share some thoughts with you, if that’s ok?

How do you react when you are given a compliment?

What is a compliment? If it’s from a friend or loved one then it comes from a place of kindness – intended from one heart to another. It is a gift. It’s something someone feels or observes which sometimes you can’t see for yourself. You know how good it feels to give a compliment don’t you? I could tell the lady who spoke to me felt great for having the courage to come up to me to give me this gift of a compliment.

So how do you react when someone tells you, you’ve done a good job? Or if they say they like what you’re wearing? Do you thank them with a smile and accept this gift, allowing it to fill you with gratitude that warms your heart. Or do you feel the need to justify saying how cheap the outfit is or that play the compliment and yourself down?

If a compliment is a gift, have you ever wondered how might this make the compliment giver feel? Could it feel like a rejection? Does it leave them and you both feeling a bit empty? Maybe if the compliments are from a loved one, eventually they may stop coming altogether – how sad for both!

I find it useful to just be more aware of what’s going on. To be more conscious when a compliment comes my way… I’ve adopted over time the habit of saying ‘thank you’ and meaning it. I don’t justify, I’m just grateful. And it feels soooooo good! I can see the compliment giver feels great to have given the compliment and it’s a win win all round! How lovely!!!! I was so touched by the lady in the supermarket, how kind of her!

So next time someone says they like your handbag or compliments you on a good job done, what will you say?

If you’re enjoying receiving my emails, please do tell your female friends and family. Ask them to sign up for their 7 Fed Up to Fabulous Tips on the website and then they too will receive my additional tips and offers too. www.daringdamsels.com

Quote for the day: “A compliment is verbal sunshine” Robert Orben

Wishing you compliments galore!

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, compliment, conscious living, criticism, daring damsels, feeling good, gift, gratitude, habit, justify, love, rejection, self esteem | Comments (0)

Oct

What do you want?

Posted in Goal Setting, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

When you’re thinking about your life and looking forward, do you know what you really want?

Knowing what you want is the important thing. Not to worry about the ‘how’… but to keep focused on the outcome, what you want to happen and not get bogged down in the nitty gritty of how it will become your reality.

It’s good for you to have some clarity about what you really want. Most of us know what we don’t want and struggle to know what we do want. As you’re reading this, I know you are wanting to gain higher self esteem and confidence. Imagine how different your home life, family life, career, finances etc will be once you have built these up - these are your reasons for building your self esteem in the first place. If you are unclear about what you want and maybe there are some grey areas in your thinking. You’re not alone, so many clients struggle with this and they book me for a coaching session or more. If you’d like to devote some special time to exploring and discovering just what you do want, email me at ali@daringdamsels.com this is your life, you deserve it to be a fulfilling and happy one!

So, whatever you want or dream of, get into the habit of asking yourself – or even praying to a higher power for an answer every night before you fall asleep. Ask for the way to be shown to you. You may well wake up with more ideas – write them down and keep pen and paper by your bed ready.

What I’ve started doing more recently is keeping a diary just to record the bursts of inspiration. So often we do not do anything with this information or ideas which come from our higher self/Universe and yet they are the very gifts which will guide us on our path. Today I looked at my diary again and had already forgotten to take action on some points – so I was so grateful for having recorded them. That’s what we all do, we get the messages, think wow and then we forget them, so I urge you to keep a record of them and begin taking action.

The way to achieve your dreams may not seem probable or realistic at first glance, it does not mean that it is impossible, just open your mind… and be aware that sometimes the way will be shown in a less likely way than the obvious.

Quote of the day

”Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Mary Kay Ash

Wishing you all you wish for yourself

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, Coaching, confidence, daringdamsels, dreams, focus, goals, gratitude, guide, higher self, life coaching, life journey, self esteem, universe, want | Comments (0)

Oct

Who are you? What is your identity?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Sometime we can lose track of who we are. Have you ever felt like that? I know I did. Sometimes it’s the difference between living and existing. When you lose track of who you are, you can feel you’ve lost your voice, wouldn’t you agree? The great news is – it doesn’t have to be this way!

Watch this short video I’ve created for you about regaining your identity, which will support you to raise your self esteem and begin to really live again. Do comment or email me your thoughts ali@daringdamsels.com. If you feel ready to make a shift; if your heart is telling you now is your time – then email me about a free consultation where we can explore how I can support you to feel more fabulous and live the life you desire.

Wishing you oodles of self love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged clarity, existing, feeling fabulous, feeling lost, feeling stuck, identity, living, self esteem, time, who am I | Comments (0)

Oct

Who are you? What’s special about you?

Posted in Videos.

Watch this short video I’ve created for you about regaining your identity, which will support you to raise your self esteem and begin to really live again. If you feel ready to make a shift; if your heart is telling you now is your time – then email me about a free consultation where we can explore how I can support you to feel more fabulous and live the life you desire.

Tagged daring damsels, existing, feeling lost, feeling stuck, happiness, identity, living, self esteem, who am I | Comments (0)

Oct

Making ‘me time’

Posted in Videos.

Would you agree that as women, it is so easy to find ourselves busy being busy and we forget about letting go and enjoying life – making time to do the things we like to do? The things that make our heart sing and give us a spring in our step. When you value your time and choose to do something for you, let go of any negative thoughts - your self esteem rises.

Tagged being a mother, daring damsels, happy, juggling roles, me time, self esteem | Comments (0)

Oct

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Watch this video and comment or email me what you like to do ali@daringdamsels.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you happiness

Love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged being busy, fun, happiness, leisure time, letting go, me time, negative thoughts, self esteem, women | Comments (0)

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Categories

Love or Rage Which Would You Choose?

Where Is The Love?

Are you ready to step up? Here is my offer to you

Feeling snowed under this Christmas?

Compliments – love them or hate them?

What do you want?

Who are you? What is your identity?

Who are you? What’s special about you?

Making ‘me time’

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’



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