So I get a mail bag of questions – or to be correct an inbox of emails from clients posing questions or seeking support to their challenges.
One such message a few weeks ago was from a lady who likes to spend money. Well we all do really, don’t we? Her challenge is not uncommon – so many of us are facing mounting debts with redundancies, hours cut at work and general living costs going up.
Her question was twofold – ‘Why do I do this and how can I stop myself?’ Of course everyone’s answers are personal to them. We all have the answers inside of us, we just need to be open to intuitively find and listening to them.
Why do we spend money when we don’t have to? I believe it’s down to our relationship with money. It’s either our friend or our foe. We either respect money and know it come flowing to us regularly or we disrespect it and spend it even if it’s not really there (on credit). If it’s a non essential purchase ie not to keep the roof over our head or fuel in our car – we have more of a choice about whether to spend or not.
Some of us spend to feel better – I wonder if that works in reality? It’s important to discover your spending patterns. What triggers a ‘spend’? What emotions are you feeling and thinking before you spend? It may be helpful to consider the following questions. Why do I want to make this purchase? What is my motivation for buying ie comfort, a treat, self development, boredom? Is it essential? What true benefits will it bring me and for how long?
If you want to spend to feel good, consider what emotion you will feel after you buy the… dress, chocolate bar, the seminar ticket, Starbucks treat, the magazine you may or not read – what is that emotion? Often immediately it is one of delight or joy – but if this is short lived and replaced with one of guilt, worry or disappointment then you have your answer as to buy or not to buy.
Step away from the thing, you think you want and choose to change your mind. What else could you do to bring you comfort, which would cost nothing and feel great – may be knowing you have made the choice to walk away is empowering enough? Give yourself a pat on the back!
If you want a happier life – only make purchases which you know will cause you to continue feeling happy after the purchase.
If you find yourself getting out of control with spending for pleasure, you are not alone; so many of us do this. I am helping many ladies to master their psychology around this very issue – taking them from Fed Up to Fabulous! Let me know how I can support you, I’m right here.