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28

Dec

Let’s Set Your 2012 Intentions!

Posted in Articles, Christmas, Goal Setting, gratitude, happiness, Perfect Days, Personal Development.
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Here we are almost at the start of 2012 – the beginning of a new year of success, adventure and possibility!

Many people begin to plan in January for their year ahead – holidays, new car, new home and house extensions and I wonder how many people give the same amount of time to planning their life?

Looking at glossy holiday brochures is wonderful, you can escape the cold and rain and imagine being on a beach for a week or two,  feeling free and relaxed but I wonder if you ever spend time the same amount of time or more imagining your life and really planning what you want to achieve, how you want to grow as a person.   Life is a journey – do you want to be the driver or the passenger?  Do you want to choose an interesting, scenic and exciting route or leave it to chance and have a snooze in the back?

Often we make short term plans – fun interruptions in our lives; we dot in the holidays and the things that give us excitement or something to look forward to – but how would it be if we made a decision to plan a bit further ahead?  Rather than life developing and us existing, we can choose to make things happen the way we design them instead of leaving it all up to chance?

This is your life.  You want the best for your family and friends – why not for yourself?

How to set your Intentions and Personal Promises for 2012

1st Step

Choose a time when you are feeling peaceful, relaxed.  Free of interruption.  Get yourself in a positive state, open to possibilities.  Write a list of things of what you are proud to have achieved during 2011.  List them down and quietly reflect on them.  Feel the feelings of achievement bubbling up and allow yourself to celebrate every success, big or small!

2nd Step

What did you do during 2011 that was the ‘icing on the cake?’  Make a list.  What gave you your greatest sense of joy?  Who was there?  What happened?  How did it make you feel?  What photographs do you treasure of those moments?  Go and have a look at them… and relive the feelings, sounds and sights…

3rd Step

Think about the areas in your life that are important – list them down eg career, environment, personal development, fun & recreation, relationship with friends/family, significant other, spirituality etc.  Consider where you are with each right now, today.  Give each one a score out of 10, with 1 being low and 10 being high.  How would you score your satisfaction with each area?

4th Step

Think about how you would like to change each area – what would make it a 10?  What would ‘10’ be like for you?  How would it feel?  Close your eyes if it helps… imagine, dream… design… paint a picture in your imagination of how you’re choose to change things.  Imagine if Aladdin’s genie gave you 3 wishes… how would you use them to change your life?  What if you had more than 3 wishes, how would you use them?  Drift into your imagination, what can you hear, what can you smell, taste?  Who is there?  What are they doing?  How bright is the picture?  Turn up the colour… adjust the volume so it’s right.  What difference would it make to your life?  How would it affect your relationships?

5th Step

Put the list in an order of priority.  Which area of your life needs action most urgently?  When would you like to have this achieved by?  Set dates for the other areas, being realistic – but being true to you.

6th Step

What is the first step to achieving your intentions and personal promises?  Who can help you?  What resources do you need?  Where can you get these?  What additional learning do you need?  Where can you find out about this?  When are you going to begin?  How important is this intention?

7th Step

Why are you doing this?  What is motivating you? If you do not have a big enough reason ‘why,’ you will find yourself falling off the wagon… like many new year resolutions people make, it will be overlooked and your life will be left to chance once more.  How do you want to feel when you look back in 10 years and remember the dreams you once had, that you didn’t ‘bother’ to achieve?  Decide how important this is to you, your family – choose to make it a priority in your life.

8th Step

Who will you share your intentions with?  Be careful here.  I have found that if we are too free with our excitement about how we’re designing our lives – others do not always support us and try to prick our bubble.  Sometimes, friends and family like life to be the way it is and that’s that.  They do not want anything to change.  It can be that they do not want to see us start something and then fail.  If they love us they will want to protect us.  Others may think it’s best for us to take a more conventional route or do things the way they did.  Each person is a unique individual with their own set of life situations and challenges.  If we listen to and take on board negative comments of others, we’re bound to struggle to achieve our intentions.  We must have belief in ourselves, determination and adopt a success strategy that works for us.  We must be clear about why we’re doing this and what the outcome will be.  Share your intentions with people who will support you, encourage you and be inspired by you.  Keep focusing on the ‘why’ and the positive outcome.  Deciding to have a coach can be crucial to your success – a coach will keep you on track, will believe in you and will encourage you to dig deep to find the solutions to your action steps.  It is a powerful union.

9th Step

What will you do to remind yourself daily of your intentions and your commitment to yourself?  Some clients of mine choose to write themselves a statement which they keep in their wallet or handbag which they look at each day.  It could be something such as:

“It is 3rd January 2013 and I am sitting on my porch of my dream French house with my loving partner, watching the sun setting over the mountains.  We are sipping champagne and planning our next holiday together.  We feel healthy, safe and secure.  I live in abundance of all good things and my life is perfect.”

It is important that this statement is personal, set in the future with a date and conjures up the feeling you will have once you are living the life you’ve designed.

Some of my clients choose to design a ‘dream board’ which is board covered with cut out pictures of how their life is going to be, what they will have, what they will be doing or what’s important to them.  Also words that inspire them to dream big and take action.  They will look at the board every morning and every night – looking at the pictures and choose to imagine the feelings of having those things now.  This is an incredibly powerful way of speeding up the intention process – ideas will come to you during the night as your mind continues to dream while you’re asleep – you will wake up often with new ideas of how you will make this intention your reality.

10th Step

Each month, ideally on the first week day or weekend look at your intention list.  Look at what you’ve achieved.  Praise yourself and celebrate.  Feel good about how you’ve moved forward.  The changes you can see now, the way this makes you feel.  How your positive actions are affecting your state of mind.  Decided what the next step will be to getting to your intention.  What you need to do, who you need to speak to and put a date on the action – when will this be achieved by?

 

Intention/Personal Promise Summary

Okay, so imagine… In ten years time, how would you like to be living?  If you were to look back at this decade what would you like to be able to say you’d achieved, ticked off your dream list or experienced?   You’ll be ten years older… go on, you can do the maths.  I heard something recently that really got me thinking – he said, imagine you’re about to meet your maker – you’re standing at the gates of heaven and the angel says to you “Wow, I’ve heard about the Great Wall of China, the pyramids of Egypt, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Stonehenge, Grand Canyon! Wow what are they like?” and you turn to him and say “Oh I don’t know, I never went there… but I can tell you what happened on EastEnders last week!”

Let’s make 2012 not just a New Year but a Fantastic New Year!  A year where you make some positive shifts, feel fulfilled, and achieve the success (whatever that means to you) that you’ve always wanted.

I will have only one new opening for a new one to one mentoring/coaching client in January 2012l  Are you feeling ready to take some massive action and make 2012 your BEST year so far?  Send me an email to ali@alisoleil.com and let’s have an informal chat about how you can have your best year yet!

Wishing you a very very Happy New Year!

Love and smiles

Ali xxx

Tagged 10 steps to goal setting, 2012, ali soleil, clarity, crystallising ideas, daring damsels, dreams, fab friends network, Goal Setting, happiness, intentions, life coach, mentoring, New Year, personal promises, plans | Comments (3)

05

Oct

Who are you? What’s special about you?

Posted in Videos.
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Sometime we can lose track of who we are.  Have you ever felt like that?  I know I did.  Sometimes it’s the difference between living and existing.  When you lose track of who you are, you can feel you’ve lost your voice, wouldn’t you agree?  The great news is – it doesn’t have to be this way!

Watch this short video I’ve created for you about regaining your identity, which will support you to raise your self esteem and begin to really live again. If you feel ready to make a shift; if your heart is telling you now is your time – then email me about a free consultation where we can explore how I can support you to feel more fabulous and live the life you desire.

Tagged daring damsels, existing, feeling lost, feeling stuck, happiness, identity, living, self esteem, who am I | Comments (0)

05

Oct

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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Would you agree that as women, it is so easy to find ourselves busy being busy and we forget about letting go and enjoying life – making time to do the things we like to do?  The things that make our heart sing and give us a spring in our step.  When you value your time and choose to do something for you, let go of any negative thoughts - your self esteem rises. 

Watch this video and comment or email me what you like to do ali@daringdamsels.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you happiness

Love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged being busy, fun, happiness, leisure time, letting go, me time, negative thoughts, self esteem, women | Comments (0)

19

Jun

How can I stop spending money?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development.
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So I get a mail bag of questions – or to be correct an inbox of emails from clients posing questions or seeking support to their challenges.

One such message a few weeks ago was from a lady who likes to spend money.  Well we all do really, don’t we?  Her challenge is not uncommon – so many of us are facing mounting debts with redundancies, hours cut at work and general living costs going up.

Her question was twofold – ‘Why do I do this and how can I stop myself?’  Of course everyone’s answers are personal to them.  We all have the answers inside of us, we just need to be open to intuitively find and listening to them.

Why do we spend money when we don’t have to?  I believe it’s down to our relationship with money.  It’s either our friend or our foe.  We either respect money and know it come flowing to us regularly or we disrespect it and spend it even if it’s not really there (on credit).   If it’s a non essential purchase ie not to keep the roof over our head or fuel in our car – we have more of a choice about whether to spend or not.

Some of us spend to feel better – I wonder if that works in reality?   It’s important to discover your spending patterns.  What triggers a ‘spend’? What emotions are you feeling and thinking before you spend? It may be helpful to consider the following questions.  Why do I want to make this purchase?  What is my motivation for buying ie comfort, a treat, self development, boredom?  Is it essential?  What true benefits will it bring me and for how long?

If you want to spend to feel good, consider what emotion you will feel after you buy the… dress, chocolate bar, the seminar ticket, Starbucks treat, the magazine you may or not read – what is that emotion?  Often immediately it is one of delight or joy – but if this is short lived and replaced with one of guilt, worry or disappointment then you have your answer as to buy or not to buy. 

Step away from the thing, you think you want and choose to change your mind.  What else could you do to bring you comfort, which would cost nothing and feel great – may be knowing you have made the choice to walk away is empowering enough?  Give yourself a pat on the back!  

If you want a happier life – only make purchases which you know will cause you to continue feeling happy after the purchase.

If you find yourself getting out of control with spending for pleasure, you are not alone; so many of us do this.  I am helping many ladies to master their psychology around this very issue – taking them from Fed Up to Fabulous!  Let me know how I can support you, I’m right here.

Ali xxx

Tagged choice, debts, guilt, happiness, living costs, negative emotions, pleasure, positive emotions, redundancies, spending money, stop spending | Comments (0)

03

Mar

Is NOW a good time to raise your self esteem ladies?

Posted in happiness, Personal Development, self esteem.
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Do you have a negative feeling about yourself?  Do you worry about what other people think of you?  Do you spend time trying to please others? Is your love for yourself running on empty?  Do you look to others to feel good?  Does your happiness and security depend on others giving it to you? 

If you found yourself saying yes to these questions – how long have you felt this way?  Is now a good time to build your self esteem?  If not NOW when?

As you know, I’m a woman’s self esteem coach.  Many of my clients come to me knowing they want to change.  Something may have triggered this decision and they have thought enough is enough.  Sometimes they realise they need to change because they worry that they are passing on their patterns of behaviour down to their children.  Some only have just realised that they are living their lives feeling ‘empty’ and thought this was ‘normal’.  Some feel the way they have been brought up has affected who they have become and no longer choose to live this way, but do not know how to change. Others have had a life challenging situation such as becoming a mother, divorce, illness, a house move or a life style change has affected their self esteem in a negative way.

Whichever it is – now is a good time to focus on change, to take back control of who you are, of your life and your own opinions of what’s important to you.   Wouldn’t you like to feel fabulous, deserving of good things and happy in your own skin?

Deciding to change, being committed to working on you every day is so important.  We have been running our patterns of behaviour for years – some gives us a good response, some does not.  Start is the key.  

Contact me for an informal chat about what my coaching services can do for you – after all we are unique and no service is the same.  Or choose to send me an email.  I have another workshop coming up this time, next week and I would love my blog readers to come along!  Here are the details:

When:               Wednesday 10th March 2010     Time: 9.30am – 2.30pm

Where:              Contact me for the exact location of this country hotel, just outside High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

Investment:       £32

Contact me via email ali@daringdamsels.com  and visit my web site www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged change, deserving, feeling fabulous, happiness, life coaching, negative feelings, pleasing others, self esteem, self esteem coach, self love | Comments (0)

04

Nov

Teenage Choices

Posted in Parenting, Teenage development.
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Being a responsible parent comes with so much unknown territory – wouldn’t you agree?  We don’t get taught this stuff and even if we did – every child is a unique soul, living in their own sense of reality with their own set of life choices and decisions to make.  As a parent we cannot possibly know the full extent of the world our children live in.  We all filter what we see, hear and feel every day differently and we do not shadow our children 24/7.  We trust in what we’ve taught them and that the decisions they make will be good ones (and learn from the ones that turned out not to be so fabulous).

My girls are 16 and 17 years old, they are truly my greatest blessings in life.  So when they are at a cross roads in life choosing which path to travel along – it’s easy for me to make suggestions on what I think they could/should be doing; afterall it’s called ‘being a good parent’ isn’t it? 

I’m discovering how important it is for them to make their own choices without too much pressure being put upon them by me – or their father.  With so much external input not only from us they can become unsure of which path to go down; they also lose a sense of identity – a conflict within, whom to please, what to do first… and maybe they want to have a complete rethink anyway.   From my experience we either move towards or away from what we’re told to do.  When told we will not achieve something – we may think ‘I’ll show you!’ or ‘Well I just won’t bother then’….

I remember trying to fulfil the wishes of my parents as I was growing up.  Taking jobs which they thought were best for me…. but I did not enjoy them, these jobs were not fulfilling my values – I was not being true to my core.  I have to remember to this. 

There is a fine line between parental apathy (‘oh, let them find their own way forward – or not’), parental guidance (‘check out these opportunities, have you considered x y and z?’) and being  parentally pressuring (‘get down to the careers office now, you must do this… you’ll regret it if you don’t')….

I figure with my girls – I give them all the opportunities I can, I encourage, praise and ensure they know I’m proud of them… they can live at home feeling secure and loved.  It’s down to them to choice their path, I’m here to give external support and encouragement but it’s their lives and most of all – their happiness is my priority.

It’s tough being a parent sometimes! ;)

Tagged being a good parent, encourage, happiness, life choices, opportunities, Parenting | Comments (2)
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