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31

Dec

My Reflective Review of 2011

Posted in Articles, happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development, Setting up a business.
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Like me, you’ll be reviewing your achievements of 2011.  It’s so important to look back at them, revisit and enjoy the memories, to celebrate them and to take the learnings of the year.  What are you most proud of, what’s the icing on the top of the cake for you?  What could you have done differently?  What have you gained?  What or who have you let go of?  What was your biggest learning about yourself?  Who were the key players this year who made a significant impact on you?

As I reflect back I remember that by the end of 2010 was beginning to feel uneasy.  I was continuing to work hard and yet the results were not showing up in my business fast enough.  I had some full workshops and 1:1 clients although I wondered if I needed to find a ‘proper’ job (perhaps return to my recruitment industry roots) and yet I really didn’t want to.  My calling to serve women, to support them in their greatness was so strong.  I knew that I had to keep focused, not allow fear to take over take what I am here to do.

I have invested so much in my own learning since 2004 with mentors, coaches, seminars, conferences, bootcamps as well as books, audios and training dvds.  What was slowing me down was that some of what I’d learned conflicted greatly with my own authenticity and it was on my mind so much of the time.  My thoughts were affecting my progress.  Have you ever felt that?  It was like pushing away from the side of the swimming pool as I decided to break away from what did not fit with my own values and to step further into my own truth.  Choosing to love and let go of the people who I was not in alignment with and instead be true to myself, honour my clients authentically. This move felt bold, empowering yet scary at the same time!  Having said this, I was so grateful for all the learnings and experience as it supported me to gain clarity on my own values, my purpose, who my clients are and how I can honour and support them to step into their greatness.  Does this resonate with you?

It was time to step up big and take the empowering practices that I’d learned and integrate them in with my intentions!  One of my dreams for some years was to set up a self development group for women and I decided to stop procrastinating and take a giant leap out of my comfort zone.  At the beginning of March, I launched a self development group for women in High Wycombe called Fab Friends Network.  Some wonderful women joined my membership group and began making great changes in their lives.  I was asked to appear on another local radio station and many speaking bookings came flowing my way.  Creating videos raised my visibility and pushed me further out of my comfort zone.  More clients connected with me – my authentic self, and knew I could support them to get great results.  I chose not to become distracted from my path and launched a VIP Group for 5 women in September, who I work with at a higher level, this group is called the Butterfly Circle and we meet each month for a day of learning, sharing and mentoring.   And a second Fab Friends Network group was launched in Basingstoke, Hampshire in October.  It was very exciting to have two new websites built www.alisoleil.com and www.fabfriendsnetwork.com.  The year unfolded beautifully with happiness, integrity and life lessons of trusting, surrendering, self belief and focus.

My clients have inspired and delighted me with their transformations, decisions, dreams and support. They have made such tremendous progress, I feel privileged to work with every single beautiful soul.  I’ve also met some hugely inspiring women mentors this year who have taught me so much and guided me to make authentic decisions in my business – and life.  I’ve been fortunate to attend some eye and heart opening workshops and talks in London with inspiring speakers such as Byron Katie, Sonia Choquette and Dr Michael Beckwith.   I also met my partner Andrew who has been a very important person in my life this year.  He has been so fantastic at loving me whilst allowing me to focus on my business.  Supporting and listening to me when I’ve been unsure of my challenging leaps, reassuring me and putting up with me when I’ve been a bit stressy!  Both my daughters have supported me at home and in my business, Becky has attended every Fab Friends meeting this year – which has been so helpful to me and a great learning for her!

It certainly has been a year of  huge leaps of faith, some big shifts in my thinking and most of all walking my talk.

I’ve learned that it’s so important to surround myself with a supportive peer group who encourage me to be the best I can be – to be authentic, to believe in myself, to ask for help, not to compare myself with others, keep on my path and not be persuaded off it or distracted by the ‘rocks’ in the road.  And above all to feel happy :)   Hanging in there, keeping motivated – believing in myself and my ‘gifts’ has really changed my circumstances enormously, the snowball is rolling and I’m in such a different place to where I began the year.  I start 2012 full of excitement and can’t wait to allow it all to unfold, surprise and delight me.

I would love to hear about your year, what you’ve faced and overcome.  What learnings you’ve taken and of the joys and delights that have been the icing on the cake for you!  And if you’d like some support to make your 2012 your best year ever, send me an email ali@alisoleil.com and we can have an informal chat to see how we can work together and make that happen, it will be my privilege.

Have a great New Year!

Love and celebrations

Ali xxx

Tagged ali soleil, authentic, clients, Coaching, daring damsels, fab friends network, High Wycombe, integrity, life coach, mentoring, Princes Risborough, surrender, womens self developement | Comments (2)

13

Dec

Stop The Clocks, It’s Time To ‘Be’ – Join Me?

Posted in Goal Setting, gratitude, happiness, Perfect Days, Uncategorized.
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November was a very busy month for me, how about you?  Sometimes when we realise that we’ve been working too hard, it’s too late – we’re already depleted of energy, feeling drained.   It’s like the red warning light on the fuel gauge has been on for too long in your car and you know you’re running on vapours.  The offer of a long weekend in the South of France was a blessing although I wondered if I really had time to be away.  Does that sound too familiar?   There are always reasons not to do go away – lack of time, money, work (except I love what I do!) and all the other things to ‘do’, not to mention the Christmas shopping….  One of my friends booked her ticket to stay with our friend Julia and asked when I was going to book mine…. mmm…. a gentle reminder, it’s time.

As women, traditionally we tend to put our own needs last and a gentle reminder is welcome when we forget.   So I booked my ticket a return flight to the South of France for £39!  Bargain!   And at the start of December, my coaching friend Hilary and I set off to meet our friend Julia who owns a Chateau Ventenac and our long weekend began.  We left the cold, rain and drizzle at Luton Airport for the sunnier, more carefree climes of Beziers Airport one hour and 20 minutes away!

Isn’t it amazing how we can be running at 100 miles an hour and have a gazillion things to ‘do’ urgently and yet when the distance separates us from the ‘stuff’ to do, we can feel distance from the stresses?  Maybe that’s just me?   I could literally feel the pressures and stresses melt off me, and fall away.  I began to relax, slow down, and went from ‘doing’ to ‘being’ very quickly.  Sitting on Julia’s terrace without a coat in December, gazing across the Canal du Midi, across the miles and miles of vineyards and nestling on the horizon the Pyrannes mountains sat amongst the fluffy clouds.  It was purrrrrfect!  I couldn’t have felt more at home, more relaxed and more at peace… heaven.

When was the last time you really stopped what you were doing and took some ‘me time’?  Stopped what you were doing and went somewhere different?  Even though you felt under pressure, chose to chill out?  Being with my two good friends gave me the chance to unwind, catch up on their news and share some of my news too.  We laughed, dreamed, wandered, contributed, sat by a crackling open fire and even watched X Factor with a glass of something red and giggly!

Since being back, I’ve been more productive, had more fun, slept better and it feels like I’ve been on a long holiday!  It is truly wonderful.  So a few days out really can make a huge difference… When are you going to give yourself some time out?  Do it!  Go on!   Whilst I was at Chateau Ventenac I reflected on 2011 and made some decisions about 2012.  Have you begun considering what you’d like to achieve in 2012?  Exciting isn’t it?

Whilst I was away, I really wished I could share the gorgeous landscape, the beautiful chateau and the time out with my wonderful clients, I know that you too could do with some time to recharge and reflect.  So, I mentioned this to Julia who runs her Chateau as a retreat/workshop business, if I could book a week in October 2012 – and guess what?  It’s happening!  I can’t wait to share more about this with you and I’ll be posting some information about it on this website soon, so keep checking back! :)  It would be great to share this time with you, making some life transformations and relaxing too.  If you’d like to see more of Chateau Ventenac please stop by Julia’s website http://www.chateauventenac.com.

Tagged ali soleil, being a mother, Chateau Ventenac, chill out, Coaching, Dreaming, life coach, mentor, overwhelm, planning, relax, retreat, slow down, South of France, stress | Comments (0)

23

Oct

It’s Time NOW To Grab Life And Make It Happen!

Posted in happiness, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development.
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I hope you’ve all had a great weekend!  I’ve been celebrating my younger daughter’s 18th birthday which was yesterday.

Isn’t it amazing just how quickly time can fly.  It seems only yesterday she was proudly wearing my lipstick smeared all over her face toddling around in a pair of my shoes and a cheeky grin.  Actually somethings don’t change ;) Shhh… don’t tell her I said that!  And what does strike me is just how quickly time flies – you can’t stop the clock… can you?

It’s time now to grab life and make it happen.  To keep moving forward loving life, doing what makes you feel good, making empowering decisions that support you to be the best You that You can be.

  

My gorgeous Anna has grown into a beautiful young lady.

Tagged 18th Birthday, Coaching, empowered, jfdi, make it happen, time flies | Comments (0)

19

Oct

What do you want?

Posted in Goal Setting, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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When you’re thinking about your life and looking forward, do you know what you really want? 

Knowing what you want is the important thing.  Not to worry about the ‘how’… but to keep focused on the outcome, what you want to happen and not get bogged down in the nitty gritty of how it will become your reality.

It’s good for you to have some clarity about what you really want.  Most of us know what we don’t want and struggle to know what we do want.  As you’re reading this, I know you are wanting to gain higher self esteem and confidence.  Imagine how different your home life, family life, career, finances etc will be once you have built these up - these are your reasons for building your self esteem in the first place.  If you are unclear about what you want and maybe there are some grey areas in your thinking.  You’re not alone, so many clients struggle with this and they book me for a coaching session or more.  If you’d like to devote some special time to exploring and discovering just what you do want, email me at ali@daringdamsels.com this is your life, you deserve it to be a fulfilling and happy one!

So, whatever you want or dream of, get into the habit of asking yourself – or even praying to a higher power for an answer every night before you fall asleep.  Ask for the way to be shown to you.  You may well wake up with more ideas – write them down and keep pen and paper by your bed ready. 

What I’ve started doing more recently is keeping a diary just to record the bursts of inspiration.  So often we do not do anything with this information or ideas which come from our higher self/Universe and yet they are the very gifts which will guide us on our path.  Today I looked at my diary again and had already forgotten to take action on some points – so I was so grateful for having recorded them.  That’s what we all do, we get the messages, think wow and then we forget them, so I urge you to keep a record of them and begin taking action.

The way to achieve your dreams may not seem probable or realistic at first glance, it does not mean that it is impossible, just open your mind… and be aware that sometimes the way will be shown in a less likely way than the obvious. 

Quote of the day

 ”Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Mary Kay Ash

 Wishing you all you wish for yourself

 Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, Coaching, confidence, daringdamsels, dreams, focus, goals, gratitude, guide, higher self, life coaching, life journey, self esteem, universe, want | Comments (0)

18

Jun

Is money your friend or foe?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development.
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How would you describe your relationship with money? If you were to think about it, is money your friend or your evil enemy?

Some of us do not have a good association with money and struggle to make it. When we do have money – we don’t hold on it for long.  Some of us can’t get enough of it – we know how we are going to spend it and have a never ending supply.   Which are you?  What causes these extremes?

It’s our psychology that affects this relationship – and often it’s a belief we’ve inherited from our parents from a young age – their beliefs around money can become ours.

When I coach ladies who are not having a good experience with money, I often discover that they do not feel they deserve to have it and it slips through their fingers very quickly.  I dig a bit deeper and they discover they don’t actually like money very much.

Some of them been brought up by parents who have said things like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘people with money have ripped others off’, ‘the bank manger is God’, ‘money corrupts’, ‘money is evil or dirty’.  As they explore they realise these beliefs have been holding them back and what they have been costing them!  If you’re unconsciously pushing it away – how can you attract it at the same time?  This is where I support them to make the decision to believe something more empowering – and certainly improve their relationship with money.

I also work with women who are selling a service or a product they have created themselves, who feel uncomfortable about charging.  They find it hard to receive payment for something they love doing.

I believe we all deserve to get paid for what we do.  To feel proud of our achievements and get paid a fair price for giving of our skills and experience.  I am sure that Madonna has more money than she could ever spend – and yet she still charges top dollar for doing what she loves – because then we value it.

What is your relationship with money?  Could you do with some support to change your negative beliefs?  When will be a good time to do that – now or later?  What are your beliefs costing you?  If you had more money, how would you choose to spend it?  What changes would you make to your lifestyle?  Do let me know – comment or email me ali@daringdamsels.com

Wishing you an abundance of all good things!

Ali xxx

Tagged choice, Coaching, deserve, dirty, empowering beliefs, enemy, evil, limiting beliefs, money, relationship, spending money | Comments (0)

06

Jun

Ready to transform from Fed Up to Fabulous?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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I hope you’ve had a lovely weekend and enjoyed the sunshine.  I spent my Saturday in Manchester with some of my coaching friends.   It’s the second time I’ve only been there and walking in heat I thought ‘It feels like I’m on holiday!’ how great is that?  I hope you’ve had some fun too.

The weekend is coming to an end now, the rain is falling and the new week is approaching fast – is your heart sinking knowing you’ve got to go back to work or be alone with the kids again, back to the routine? 

I remember having that dreadful sinking feeling EVERY Sunday…

It was a lonely, stomach churning feeling.  I remember thinking ‘there must be more to life than this…’ but not knowing what that was.  Knowing it was within my grasp but not quite reaching it.

What did I want?  What do you want?

Do you ever think you’re ‘existing’ but not ‘living’?  Not sure what to do?  Not feeling fabulous or fulfilled?

I spend years trying to find the answers on my own – it just wasn’t happening and for me, my self esteem was on the floor – I was pretty fed up with being me and my life.

When you don’t know what you want, it’s hard to know where to focus.

I found support, re-designed my life by discovering my passion, raising my self esteem – and now everyday is a ‘jump out of bed’ day!

I was watching the repeat of Britain’s Got Talent this afternoon.  Christopher Stone, an accountant said from being a small child he knew he was a performer.  When he sings he knows he’s being who he really is.  Piers Morgan encouraged him to give up what he doesn’t enjoy and follow his passion – sharing his incredible voice with the world.

If this resonates with you and you know this is your time for change – you are ready to invest in your future, discover your ‘truth’, raise your self esteem, live life with a spring in your step, passion in your heart whilst feeling feminine and fabulous then I have just the thing for you.

Ok Ali, what is it?

I am ready and eager to support you!  I am SO excited to be offering FIVE ladies the opportunity of individually spending a day in June with me, at the fabulous price of £497. These special ‘Fed Up to Fabulous’ days will be face to face in the Buckinghamshire area.  If you are ready to commit, you will enjoy this life changing, magical day which will start at 10.00am and finish by 4.00pm.  There are selected week days and currently a few weekend dates available.

I have many skills up my sleeve to support you including coaching, mentoring, NLP, Time Line Therapy even Hypnosis and can offer an interest free payment plan to split the investment into two payments.  You’ll need to be quick to book as one place has just been booked!  Please go to www.daringdamsels.com and see the empowered words other clients have said after working with me.

Imagine this – it is July 2010 – it’s Sunday evening you are feeling relaxed – you can’t wait for tomorrow, as you are following your passion, ready to jump out of bed in the morning and feeling FABULOUS!  Is that good?

I’m ready to get started, are you?  If you would like one of the Fed Up to Fabulous days, please email me back without delay ali@daringdamsels.com.  

Have a great week, wishing you love and happiness

Ali xx

 

Tagged Coaching, dream, fabulous, Fed Up to Fabulous, feminine, gift to the world, jump out of bed, NLP, passion, self esteem, Sunday feeling, truth, work tomorrow | Comments (0)

06

Feb

Daring Damsels doing it for themselves!

Posted in happiness, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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Hey I’m not blogged for a few weeks!  Hope you’re all well and happy :)  I’ve been busy with my Daring Damsels!

I ran my first workshop at the end of January.  It was a ladies self esteem booster workshop and we all had a great time.  It was wonderful to see these ladies who arrived as strangers leave as friends.  They really played full out, listened carefully, and shared their own experiences freely.  They explored their own patterns of behaviour and committed to themselves a decision to change.

A week on, I am so impressed to hear of their progress.  Listening to their own self talk and choosing to change it, to focus on what they are want – not on what they don’t want, thinking about how they are seeing the world – through their ‘filters’, questioning their beliefs – which are not true and not serving them and replacing them with more empowering beliefs… it’s all great stuff!  And, I’m so proud of them all!

Isn’t amazing how we think it’s ‘just me’ and yet it can be really liberating to find that others feel the same way – and together we can embark on making change happen so you can live a more fabulous and fulfilling life?

I met a lady a few months ago at a conference with some amazing women speakers.  She said to me “‘it’s all right for them, but I’m in my 50’s and my self esteem is low… I’m too old to change”.  I had to question this and she didn’t want to change.  And that’s ok.  It’s her choice.  However,  I think we need to consider if we feel we are not living the life we’d really like – it’s down to us to make the change.  After all, what has low self esteem cost us in the past, how will it continue to shrink our choices?  I know from my own experience I’ve missed out on many opportunities because I didn’t know if I could handle the situations or questioned my own abilities – and talked my self out of them.

It’s not a very positive way to live, is it?

So these fabulous ladies who came to my Daring Damsels workshop were just so ready to get out of their own way, smash down their own barriers and begin living life again.   The journey of change isn’t easy, we have well trodden paths.  If we truly want to make the change we can do it, no matter what our age – it just takes a shift in thought!  The rewards are waiting – and they are fabulous!

I’m going to be coaching these ladies on a one to one basis and arranging further workshops – if you would like to find out how I can help you too, please message me through my web site www.daringdamsels.com  Come on ladies – let’s make 2010 our best year ever. 

Here is a message from one of the ladies who was there.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-uv3wujDzQ]

Tagged any age, behaviour, beliefs, Coaching, daring damsels, ladies, opportunities, questioning abilities, self esteem, women, workshop | Comments (0)

20

Dec

Christmas Countdown

Posted in Christmas.
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Just been thinking about how great it would be to have a Christmas Coach… I don’t know about you… but with the clock ticking I’m still way behind where I would like to be.  I imagine I’ve missed the last post on the Christmas Cards and they are only half written.  Still I’ll get them finished today and posted in the morning.  Every year it is the same, it’s an area I really need to work on and change my approach.  May be I could write next years cards today with the this years! ;)  Nah, that’s cheating… and the names and addresses may change over the next 365 days!

The girls are going to help me put up the tree this afternoon which will be wonderful, always nice to put the tree up together and share in the excitement of seeing all the old favourite tree decorations coming out of hibernation again. 

Having a coach would have got me on track, scheduling time for making things happen and thinking about the good Christmas feelings that I would had had instead of the slightly panicked ones I feel now… oh well, it will all get done before Friday :)   It has to!

How are you doing with your Christmas preparation?  What areas in your life would benefit from coaching?  What difference would it make to you?  Having someone support you and shine the light in the areas that you’re not seeing is fantastic…. Definitely going to get some support next year on my Christmas plans; so that when I’m 5 days before the big day, I’m feeling relaxed, sorted and full of joyful anticipation!

Tagged cards, Christmas, christmas preparation, Coaching, decorations, life coaching | Comments (0)

27

Nov

Synergy and support

Posted in Networking, Perfect Days.
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Oh what a lovely day I’ve had… this morning I popped along to my favorite shop – John Lewis for an informal ladies networking monthly event called Cappuccino Connections.  It’s organised by Athena Networking group and locally about 40 women met for a natter and networking… oh and a cappuccino or something.  It’s so great to meet so many like minded people who are interested in what you do and to share their business story.  There seems to be such synergy between so many of us.  I’ve learned along the way how important it is to surround myself with a supportive peer group.  Sometimes when we share our dreams and goals with our friends and family their response can truly cause us to burst our bubble (we’re responsible for our own thoughts and decisions to take on board other peoples negative comments).  We allow our dream to die – or we can put on the back burner for another time.  I’ve certainly done this in the past.  Often those closest to us do not want us to change because this could ultimately change the relationship we share – or they do not want us to fail… so lovingly would rather keep us in our place.  Being part of a supportive network provides not only momentum for progression by being an encouraging sounding board - but also can give some leads to help establish the business.  Having fellow coaches to support and believe in me and my goals makes the journey even more exciting and the ride smoother.

Who do you surround yourself with?  How does your peer group support you?  How determined are you to reach your goals?  – How unshakable are they?

I’ve travelled up to Birmingham this afternoon on the train.  It’s my second time ever being in this city.  It feels vibrant and looks colourful.  Tomorrow I am going to Jo Cameron’s Women on Their Way conference – I can’t wait.. it promises to be a fabulous event with lots of inspiring speakers and great workshops.  I’m hoping to build my peer group here too… how great will it be to have new friends in another city?:)  Wonderful!  So I’m off to sleep now dreaming of my goals, feeling grateful for my friends, family, peers and coaches… and aptly I’m staying in a hotel called Nite Nite! Night all :)

 

Tagged Birmingham, cappuccino connections, Coaching, goals, Networking, peer group, support, synergy | Comments (0)

20

Nov

Dreams v Reality = Adventure Zone

Posted in Personal Development.
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So, for years now… my girls and I have imagined living in Brighton.  Living within a city for the first time – a place so diverse and alive.  And by the seaside… I love the sea, having always lived one hour 30 mins from the nearest coastal spot, it’s a novelty and gives me a rush of energy and new perspectives when I see it.

We have sat countless times on the pebble beach looking out on the twinkling sea which always draws us close.   We conjure up whilst we much our sandwiches (actually we have been known to buy a box of chocolates and consume them on the beach too! I digress) how life could be living there.  We’ve even imagined running a small boutique hotel on the sea front - my younger daughter having picked out an old hotel, looking like it needs a new lease of life and some love put into it.  But really, I think living in Brighton as a life coach/NLP Practitioner would be fabulous – afterall, with the wonders of the internet and telephone – I can coach anywhere!

A close friend of mine suggested that ‘Brighton is the grave yard of ambition’.  At the time, I was a little disgruntled – to his obvious amusement… however on reflection – that makes Brighton the perfect place to be a coach.  There are people all over the world - not just Brighton who have had dreams but who have been talked out of them and they lie dormant waiting to see daylight once more.  I’d love to move to Brighton and assist people with evoking their dreams and making them reality – how fabulous would that be?

So, my dream… to move to Brighton June 2010 with my daughter who is 16 years old.  My elder daughter will be spreading her wings and will be off to Uni or another path – so will not be living with us then.

In order to achieve this dream – I need to pull out all the stops.  It feels daunting right now, but I know that is just my unconscious mind trying to protect me – keep me in my comfort zone.  So I must push through this barrier and break into my adventure zone…

My daughter is so excited about making this dream a reality; so this week we have been to Brighton to the sixth form college’s open evening.  Afterall, you have to fake it til you make it, right?  By going to the open evening, we have set our intention… we have made a commitment to ourselves to make this dream our reality.  Soon after the drama of finding somewhere to park we walked up some roads towards the college.  It was a magical experience.  We looked at the long white terraces of houses and flats and wondered which one we’d be living in.  It’s an exciting feeling moving to the unknown.  I can feel the excitement but I can also feel the resistance… it feels slightly scary, but that’s a good thing – it means I know I can do it and it’s out of my comfort zone.

I have made a dream board with some pictures of Brighton, some seaside pictures, I have the sound of the sea and the cry of the seagulls in my head and the taste of crepes from the pier in my memory… it’s all about focusing on what you want – really feeling it as if you have it already.  It’s about setting the date of when you know you’ve achieved it, setting steps to reach the goal, committing and taking action!

What are your dreams?  How committed are you to making them your reality?  How does breaking into your ‘adventure zone’ make you feel?  What difference to your life will it make when you’ve achieve your goal?  What will happen if you don’t?  What’s the first step you need to take? If you need some help with achieving your goal – message me :)

Tagged Brighton, Coaching, comfort zone, commitment, dreams, goals, reality, sandwiches | Comments (4)
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