ali soleil – Ali Soleil

Apr

What Are You Grateful For Today?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

What are you feeling grateful for today?

If it’s true that you get what you focus on, when was the last time you connected your thoughts to your heart and really felt gratitude for what you already have?

When times feel tough it is easy to forget how many magical things are happening, for the roof over your head, the food in your fridge, perhaps your friends and family, for your health, eyes to read this message, ears to hear fabulous music….

When we feel gratitude at a deep level we release wonderful naturally produced chemicals into our blood stream… these lift our spirits, relax us and make smiling a pleasure. When you find yourself feeling stressed. Stop for a moment, breath, take 5 minutes out to think and more importantly ‘feel’ really feel the feelings of gratitude.

Try just saying ‘Thank you’ twenty times in the morning and feeling the waves of gratitude wash over you – it’s fabulous!

Quote of the day: “The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. And the more grateful you are, the more you get.” Oprah Winfrey

Feeling like you could do with some support right now, drop me an email and let’s have a chat?

Wishing you so much happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com Facebook – www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, attitude of gratitude, daring damsels, gratitude, in the moment, naturally produced chemicals, thank you | Comments (0)

Mar

Love or Rage Which Would You Choose?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Have you ever felt like you could self combust with rage? I know I have. When things just seem to keep going wrong? Like the domino effect, one thing triggers the next…. Arrrggghhhh!

Once you find yourself sliding down this slippery pathway to a meltdown it seems the only thing to do is just keep on sliding, doesn’t it? Saying “I knew that was going to happen”… and it usually does.

This is where things can change. I can now do it, and I know you can too.

So what is ‘it’? Well, ‘it’ is love. Love is the greatest feeling of all wouldn’t you agree? If you’re feeling love in your heart and body – is it possible to be in a rage at the same time? I don’t think so. They are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, aren’t they? You get what you focus on so choose carefully – happiness or anger/frustration?

Rather continuing down the path way to complete meltdown and rage try these 7 tips:

STOP. Take a moment to acknowledge how you are feeling and focus on your breathing. Decide to take a few moments out for yourself.
Gain some perspective on the situation. Is it really as you imagine/find it or is there another way of looking at it? Could you be kinder to yourself in this moment than you are currently being?
Depending on where you are or what your circumstance continue to focus on your breathing, close your eyes if it is safe to do so… imagine you are breathing in love, imagine seeing the beautiful colours of love being drawn towards you and circulating around your heart, maybe see butterflies and bubbles.
Breathe out all the frustration.
Focus on a better feeling thought – love. Perhaps someone you love and focus your thoughts on some of the qualities within that person or remember back to a time when you felt so happy, so full of laughter. Focus on those thoughts for a few moments and allow yourself the time to refocus on positive feelings and thoughts.
Give yourself the gift of a smile and let go.
Relax your tense muscles and open your eyes to a more positive reality.

Quote of the day: “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” Author Unknown

Feeling like you could do with some support right now, drop me an email and let’s have a chat?

Wishing you so much happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com Facebook – www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged 7 tips, ali soleil, anger, change, daring damsels, emotional spectrum, love, meltdown, Rage, self combust, self esteem | Comments (0)

Mar

Have You Watched Sex and The City?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development, self esteem.

Have you watched first Sex and the City film? There was one line that I remember so clearly. The character Samantha was breaking up with her long term boyfriend Smith and uttered these immortal lines “I love you, but I love me more”.

She loved him but she knew in her heart that it wasn’t right and that in order to be true to herself, ended the relationship.

I wonder how many of us live life pleasing others whilst ignoring our inner calling. Some of us do this in relationships, some in their work… have you done this too?

The other day I heard a lady saying “Secrets are like shadows on the heart”. Are you living your truth? When you can be honest with yourself, what do you know is your truth? When will be the right time to step up out of your comfort zone and into your truth? Is it too scary to contemplate this alone? Would it be easier if you had someone to hold your hand and keep you on track?

I am offering a complimentary 30 minute clarity telephone/Skype coaching sessions to 5 ladies who are ready to step into their truth. If you are ready to gain some clarity, email me with ‘Clarity Session’ in the subject line. Last time I made an offer the spaces were snapped up quickly, so let me know now if you’d like one! ali@daringdamsels.com

Quote of the day: “For me the greatest beauty always lies in the greatest clarity.” Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Wishing you clarity in your life

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, clarity session, daring damsels, honesty, inner calling, living your truth, relationships, Samantha Jones, secrets, Sex and The City | Comments (0)

Mar

Where Is The Love?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

It’s been a great day so far, lots of time to catch up on my business and also to connect with some special friends. I hope you’re having a good day too!

Something keeps on being said in my head today – which is “Where is the love?” and it’s sung in Justin Timberlake’s voice! He sang a song with the Black Eyed Peas that has this as its title. I thought I’d drop you a line and see if it resonates with you.

It ‘should’ all be so simple really, shouldn’t it? We are love. We give love. We love to receive love. And yet so many of us are pushing against the flow of love and feeling the resistance – which pushes us into a negative state.

When we feel fed up with our children, our partners, our friends, we can so quickly go from 0 – 60 in 5 seconds feeling anger or resentment building up inside of us. When this happens “where is the love?” And that’s it really. Where does it go in that instance?

Listening to some fabulous friends today talking about their situations, I ventured to ask them the question “where is the love?” It stopped them in their tracks. If you could take a step away from the situation, take some deep breaths, choose to focus on feeling some love for that person – how could you handle a situation differently?

How about next time your inner gremlin says something unkind – ask yourself the question “where is the love?” (with or without Justin’s voice!)

Quote of the day: “Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” Gary Zukav

Here it is! Sending you lots of love

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, black eyed peas, daring damsels, focus, friends, happy, justin timberlake, love, negative state, resentment, self esteem, Where is the love? | Comments (0)

Feb

A Client Shares Her Story

Posted in Life Challenges, Personal Development, self esteem.

May I share an email which I received with you? It’s from an inspiring lady in New Zealand called Sheryl who signed up for the 7 Fed Up to Fabulous tips on this website and found the weekly newsletter tips to be a real lifeline… she gained great value from her mentoring call… this is her story. (Sheryl’s given her permission for me to share with you.)

Send me an email to arrange an informal chat about how my mentoring could support you to step up and realise your potential – I’d love to hear from you ali@daringdamsels.com

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Hi Ali

How can I tell you how much your call to me meant? We had such trouble with the time zones but managed it finally with your mathematical brain, thanks for loaning it to me

When I first saw the ad for Daring Damsels I was at a really low point in my life, with not enough income, a troubled relationship with my daughter, and not enough to do. I had moved to this city a year & a half earlier, and still hadn’t formed significant relationships, which bothered me a lot.

Especially being a people person. I had got to the point of either checking out finally from my lot, or doing something about it. That’s when I looked up your website and subscribed to your newsletters.

I have to say they were very encouraging, a string to hold on to… a lifeline if you will. I loved the positive affirmations video and shared the information on Facebook, hoping it would encourage others as it had done me.

As I continued to read I thought a lot about who I am and what I want out of life. For me it’s to have significant bountiful relationships with the people in my life. I want to nurture and grow those relationships, while being true to who I am, and what I believe in.

I started to set some boundaries in my life, and it’s changed a whole lot of things. I lost people along the way who didn’t ‘get me’, and the places I go and people I see are different now. I only hang out with the people I like mostly hehe, family are a no choice zone sometimes.

I only compromise sometimes because it’s easier for me than for them. I’m a giving person so I like to give of myself and my skills and abilities where I’m able. As long as I don’t deny myself doing it.

When we got to the mentoring stage via Skype, I had come to that place, and for you to affirm me in the way you did, really helped. I was still a little unsure of whether I was headed in the right direction. Now I KNOW I am, and am going to make this MY TIME TO SHINE.

Life is not a rehearsal, you reminded me of that. We only get one go at it. I’m still learning and hope to continue to do so, as I mature like a delicious blue cheese…just gets better with age.

I will continue to pass on what I’ve learned Ali; once again thank you so much for sharing your time and skills with me.

With much love and appreciation

Sheryl

Tagged ali soleil, boundaries, choices, daring damsels, life challenges, life line, mentoring, nurture, Skype | Comments (0)

Feb

How Young Do You Feel?

Posted in gratitude, happiness.

If you didn’t know your biological age – how old would you say you are? Having chatted amongst my girlfriends recently we giggled as we shared our ‘heart’ ages… the age we’ve been for a long time on the inside. One lovely lady who is about 43 biological years old, said she’s felt for a long time that really she’s only ’30′ years old another said she feels like she is ’6′ years old inside and I said I’m really ’18′ years old.

Isn’t it funny how we can have two ages? What’s your ‘heart’ age? The lady who is ’30′ said that she’s happily felt a sense of responsibility since she was very young. The lady who said she’s ’6′ years old inside felt that she’s often confused by the world, daunted by the world – and I have to remember that my own daughters biologically are 17 and 18 years old and that I can’t join in with ALL that they do! Even if I feel like it!

It can be that a significant event has happened at a certain age, and inside we’ve stayed there whilst the external aging process has carried on.

Sometimes our ‘heart’ age says more about us than our biological age. And that is ok. Life is fun; it’s not mean to be all serious and hard work. Do what makes you happy! If we feel like we’re only ’6′ sometimes or even ’90′ it is ok to ask for help and support when it’s needed. We all need a bit of help sometimes. Reach out and be thankful for it.

Quote of the day

“Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” Jim Fiebig

Wishing you bubbles and fairy dust

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged aging, ali soleil, biological age, daring damsels, fab friends network, girl friends, heart age | Comments (0)

Dec

Are You Sensitive To Criticism?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development, self esteem.

I hope you’re finding yourself feeling a bit more aware of your response to compliments since the last blog on that subject. How about criticisms? It’s difficult to get through a life time without a lot of small, medium and large criticisms.

If someone says a throw away comment which feels like a criticism or an insult – how do you react to that? From my experience of coaching fabulous ladies, I find that most of us allow a criticism to cut to the core. It sits in our heads and we re-live the negative feelings forever more and yet a compliment just vaporises away as if it never happened. Isn’t that interesting?

By raising our awareness we can live more consciously and choose how we deal with compliments and criticisms. So when you feel criticised, it may sting, you may initially feel a negative emotion but stop and think about what’s happening.

Where are these words coming from? From a place of love/support or from a place of negativity? Choose to address what’s been said, breath slowly, relax your muscles and choose feel the warmth of someone caring enough to pass on their thoughts. Review where there may be merit to the issue, what common ground there could be and take any necessary action, then it let go…. and move on!!! After all, why wouldn’t you? You have a fabulous life to lead which is a blessing in its self!

If you are enjoying these reflections and tips please do tell your friends and family – ask them to sign up for their 7 Fed Up to Fabulous Tips at www.daringdamsels.com

Quote of the day: “Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone” Arab Proverb

Wishing you happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, awareness, compliments, conscious choice, criticism, daring damsels, insults, negative feelings | Comments (0)

Dec

Feeling snowed under this Christmas?

Posted in Christmas.

Can you believe it’s almost Christmas? It seems like the last one was only a few months ago… not a whole year!

If you’re like me you’ve still got a list of preparations on your mind or written down which you feel need to be taken care of before midnight on Christmas Eve. Here in the UK we’ve been blessed with a lot of snow, which is even making online shopping touch and go… will the couriers get through with our orders? Will Santa make it?

I’ve been receiving many emails from my clients over the last few weeks who are really feeling the strain of the additional tasks which they ‘need’ to complete on top of their usual workload. Do you feel this too? If you do, you’re certainly not alone and I remember feeling this way especially when my girls were younger.

Looking back on those days of making everything ‘perfect’ I have to consider, who was it really for? At the time, I would have said for my husband and girls – to make their Christmas special and memorable. I also remember the high demands I put on myself to get it just right – even if I was exhausted, often staying up late in the run up to the big day, not usually getting to bed much before 1am on Christmas Eve feeling shattered. Is that you too?

With the beauty of hindsight I can honestly say that they would have had just much fun and enjoyed it as much if I’d done half the extras. One of the reasons could have been my lower self esteem. Wanting to over compensate for my lack of feeling good enough and so striving for perfection, not feeling confident to just make it ok (which would have been more than good enough). I’d usually be feeling cross and resentful that all the strain feel on my shoulders – but looking back… who was putting pressure on me? Only me….

If this is resonating with you, you’re not the only one. Remember it’s your Christmas time too. A time to celebrate, enjoy, put your feet up and scoff some chocs! I’m here to say you’re more than good enough already and if you need permission to let go and put yourself first, please let me give that to you now.

Taking care of you is more important than anything. Keeping well and happy, you’ll then be able to enjoy yourself whilst taking care of the others.

Consider what is essential, what has to be done. Keep it simple and real. Make a list if you find this useful and choose the most important tasks still to be completed.
Plan when you want to do your last food/present shop – and ask someone to help you if that will make it more efficient and enjoyable.
Acknowledge what you’ve already achieved.
Who could you ask to help share the load? Partner? Older child? Parent? Friend? Often partners seem oblivious to the strain and can’t understand why you’re feeling resentful, so do put them out of their misery. Lovingly let them know you would appreciate some help.
Say ‘no’ to others requests if it takes you away from your ‘to do list’ – choose not to feel guilty.
Remember to choose to take regular breaks of 5 minutes of so. Just stop, remember to relax, breath, focus on positive thoughts and how wonderful the days of Christmas will be. Feel gratitude for all that you have and for what you have achieved.
Reward yourself each evening with a treat. Perhaps a soak in a bubbly bath, a glass of wine, light some candles…
Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself, happily reflect, to celebrate the Christmas season.

I’m only ever an email/text/telephone call away if you want someone to speak to over Christmas, please don’t feel alone (go to contact me page for info).

I wish you a magical Christmas and a fabulous New Year!

With much love and celebration

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, asking for help, celebration, Christmas, christmas preparation, confidence, daring damsels, feeling lonely, mother, perfection, pressure, self esteem, strain, tips for Christmas planning, to do list, women | Comments (0)

Nov

Compliments – love them or hate them?

Posted in Uncategorized.

I hope you’ve been having a fabulous week! I’ve been reflecting on compliments this week after I was stopped in a supermarket by a lady who wanted to tell me she loved my dress! I’d share some thoughts with you, if that’s ok?

How do you react when you are given a compliment?

What is a compliment? If it’s from a friend or loved one then it comes from a place of kindness – intended from one heart to another. It is a gift. It’s something someone feels or observes which sometimes you can’t see for yourself. You know how good it feels to give a compliment don’t you? I could tell the lady who spoke to me felt great for having the courage to come up to me to give me this gift of a compliment.

So how do you react when someone tells you, you’ve done a good job? Or if they say they like what you’re wearing? Do you thank them with a smile and accept this gift, allowing it to fill you with gratitude that warms your heart. Or do you feel the need to justify saying how cheap the outfit is or that play the compliment and yourself down?

If a compliment is a gift, have you ever wondered how might this make the compliment giver feel? Could it feel like a rejection? Does it leave them and you both feeling a bit empty? Maybe if the compliments are from a loved one, eventually they may stop coming altogether – how sad for both!

I find it useful to just be more aware of what’s going on. To be more conscious when a compliment comes my way… I’ve adopted over time the habit of saying ‘thank you’ and meaning it. I don’t justify, I’m just grateful. And it feels soooooo good! I can see the compliment giver feels great to have given the compliment and it’s a win win all round! How lovely!!!! I was so touched by the lady in the supermarket, how kind of her!

So next time someone says they like your handbag or compliments you on a good job done, what will you say?

If you’re enjoying receiving my emails, please do tell your female friends and family. Ask them to sign up for their 7 Fed Up to Fabulous Tips on the website and then they too will receive my additional tips and offers too. www.daringdamsels.com

Quote for the day: “A compliment is verbal sunshine” Robert Orben

Wishing you compliments galore!

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, compliment, conscious living, criticism, daring damsels, feeling good, gift, gratitude, habit, justify, love, rejection, self esteem | Comments (0)

Oct

What do you want?

Posted in Goal Setting, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

When you’re thinking about your life and looking forward, do you know what you really want?

Knowing what you want is the important thing. Not to worry about the ‘how’… but to keep focused on the outcome, what you want to happen and not get bogged down in the nitty gritty of how it will become your reality.

It’s good for you to have some clarity about what you really want. Most of us know what we don’t want and struggle to know what we do want. As you’re reading this, I know you are wanting to gain higher self esteem and confidence. Imagine how different your home life, family life, career, finances etc will be once you have built these up - these are your reasons for building your self esteem in the first place. If you are unclear about what you want and maybe there are some grey areas in your thinking. You’re not alone, so many clients struggle with this and they book me for a coaching session or more. If you’d like to devote some special time to exploring and discovering just what you do want, email me at ali@daringdamsels.com this is your life, you deserve it to be a fulfilling and happy one!

So, whatever you want or dream of, get into the habit of asking yourself – or even praying to a higher power for an answer every night before you fall asleep. Ask for the way to be shown to you. You may well wake up with more ideas – write them down and keep pen and paper by your bed ready.

What I’ve started doing more recently is keeping a diary just to record the bursts of inspiration. So often we do not do anything with this information or ideas which come from our higher self/Universe and yet they are the very gifts which will guide us on our path. Today I looked at my diary again and had already forgotten to take action on some points – so I was so grateful for having recorded them. That’s what we all do, we get the messages, think wow and then we forget them, so I urge you to keep a record of them and begin taking action.

The way to achieve your dreams may not seem probable or realistic at first glance, it does not mean that it is impossible, just open your mind… and be aware that sometimes the way will be shown in a less likely way than the obvious.

Quote of the day

”Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Mary Kay Ash

Wishing you all you wish for yourself

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, Coaching, confidence, daringdamsels, dreams, focus, goals, gratitude, guide, higher self, life coaching, life journey, self esteem, universe, want | Comments (0)

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What Are You Grateful For Today?

Love or Rage Which Would You Choose?

Have You Watched Sex and The City?

Where Is The Love?

A Client Shares Her Story

How Young Do You Feel?

Are You Sensitive To Criticism?

Feeling snowed under this Christmas?

Compliments – love them or hate them?

What do you want?



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