Perfect Days

Mar

Where Is The Love?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

It’s been a great day so far, lots of time to catch up on my business and also to connect with some special friends. I hope you’re having a good day too!

Something keeps on being said in my head today – which is “Where is the love?” and it’s sung in Justin Timberlake’s voice! He sang a song with the Black Eyed Peas that has this as its title. I thought I’d drop you a line and see if it resonates with you.

It ‘should’ all be so simple really, shouldn’t it? We are love. We give love. We love to receive love. And yet so many of us are pushing against the flow of love and feeling the resistance – which pushes us into a negative state.

When we feel fed up with our children, our partners, our friends, we can so quickly go from 0 – 60 in 5 seconds feeling anger or resentment building up inside of us. When this happens “where is the love?” And that’s it really. Where does it go in that instance?

Listening to some fabulous friends today talking about their situations, I ventured to ask them the question “where is the love?” It stopped them in their tracks. If you could take a step away from the situation, take some deep breaths, choose to focus on feeling some love for that person – how could you handle a situation differently?

How about next time your inner gremlin says something unkind – ask yourself the question “where is the love?” (with or without Justin’s voice!)

Quote of the day: “Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” Gary Zukav

Here it is! Sending you lots of love

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, black eyed peas, daring damsels, focus, friends, happy, justin timberlake, love, negative state, resentment, self esteem, Where is the love? | Comments (0)

Oct

What do you want?

Posted in Goal Setting, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

When you’re thinking about your life and looking forward, do you know what you really want?

Knowing what you want is the important thing. Not to worry about the ‘how’… but to keep focused on the outcome, what you want to happen and not get bogged down in the nitty gritty of how it will become your reality.

It’s good for you to have some clarity about what you really want. Most of us know what we don’t want and struggle to know what we do want. As you’re reading this, I know you are wanting to gain higher self esteem and confidence. Imagine how different your home life, family life, career, finances etc will be once you have built these up - these are your reasons for building your self esteem in the first place. If you are unclear about what you want and maybe there are some grey areas in your thinking. You’re not alone, so many clients struggle with this and they book me for a coaching session or more. If you’d like to devote some special time to exploring and discovering just what you do want, email me at ali@daringdamsels.com this is your life, you deserve it to be a fulfilling and happy one!

So, whatever you want or dream of, get into the habit of asking yourself – or even praying to a higher power for an answer every night before you fall asleep. Ask for the way to be shown to you. You may well wake up with more ideas – write them down and keep pen and paper by your bed ready.

What I’ve started doing more recently is keeping a diary just to record the bursts of inspiration. So often we do not do anything with this information or ideas which come from our higher self/Universe and yet they are the very gifts which will guide us on our path. Today I looked at my diary again and had already forgotten to take action on some points – so I was so grateful for having recorded them. That’s what we all do, we get the messages, think wow and then we forget them, so I urge you to keep a record of them and begin taking action.

The way to achieve your dreams may not seem probable or realistic at first glance, it does not mean that it is impossible, just open your mind… and be aware that sometimes the way will be shown in a less likely way than the obvious.

Quote of the day

”Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Mary Kay Ash

Wishing you all you wish for yourself

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged ali soleil, Coaching, confidence, daringdamsels, dreams, focus, goals, gratitude, guide, higher self, life coaching, life journey, self esteem, universe, want | Comments (0)

Oct

Who are you? What is your identity?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Sometime we can lose track of who we are. Have you ever felt like that? I know I did. Sometimes it’s the difference between living and existing. When you lose track of who you are, you can feel you’ve lost your voice, wouldn’t you agree? The great news is – it doesn’t have to be this way!

Watch this short video I’ve created for you about regaining your identity, which will support you to raise your self esteem and begin to really live again. Do comment or email me your thoughts ali@daringdamsels.com. If you feel ready to make a shift; if your heart is telling you now is your time – then email me about a free consultation where we can explore how I can support you to feel more fabulous and live the life you desire.

Wishing you oodles of self love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor – www.daringdamsels.com

Tagged clarity, existing, feeling fabulous, feeling lost, feeling stuck, identity, living, self esteem, time, who am I | Comments (0)

Oct

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

Would you agree that as women, it is so easy to find ourselves busy being busy and we forget about letting go and enjoying life – making time to do the things we like to do? The things that make our heart sing and give us a spring in our step. When you value your time and choose to do something for you, let go of any negative thoughts - your self esteem rises.

Watch this video and comment or email me what you like to do ali@daringdamsels.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you happiness

Love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged being busy, fun, happiness, leisure time, letting go, me time, negative thoughts, self esteem, women | Comments (0)

Sep

It is time to take a leap of faith

Posted in Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

As you may know, I was given the huge privilege of being asked to speak on a radio show in the north of England. Salford City Radio’s host of the Feel Good Show, Sara Lou-Ann Jones, asked me if I would like to come along and speak about going from Fed Up to Fabulous and give self esteem raising tips.

My first thought was – “I can’t do that!”

My second thought was – “Of course you can and you’re going to email back straightway!”.

Isn’t it funny how you can initially think you are not capable of doing something new, something different and something that stretches you? But when you decide to decide and break down your own barriers you can surprise yourself! It just takes a leap of faith in yourself, that is all.

The show went very well, I enjoyed it tremendously and all the feedback has been very positive. I can’t wait to do another one! You know don’t you, that when you step outside your comfort zone although initially it can feel uncomfortable, it feels amazing once you’re on the other side! That is where the magic begins! You can hear my interview (and conquering another personal challenge!). Click here to listen

So what have you not felt capable or good enough to do? I’m sure you are already more than capable, more than good enough… you are ready. This is your time, your time to shine. Do something this week which stretches you a little and also gives you a big boost! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go for it girlfriend! And don’t forget to email me and let me know what you chose to do!

Quote of the day

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” Benjamin Spocks

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

www.DaringDamsels.com

Tagged challenge, comfort zone, daring damsels, Fed Up to Fabulous, guest, interview, leap of faith, radio, Salford, self esteem, tips | Comments (0)

Aug

Find it hard to say ‘no’?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem, Uncategorized.

Would you say that it’s true that when self esteem is not as high as you’d like, one of the things we’re prone to do is to say ‘yes’, when really we’d like to be saying ‘no’?

I know for myself, that often I would put my schedule and any free time behind any requests from family or friends who asked me to support them. I definitely wanted to help them, but I am also aware now that often I was craving significance from these people in order to feel ‘noticed’, ‘indispensible’, ‘worthy’, almost a reason for being. If I said ‘no’ when asked for help, I’d feel guilty, as if I was letting them down. Does this resonate with you?

For me I was brought up to always put others first and to not to be ‘selfish’ so it came naturally to be a willing helper. However, since realising why I had been doing this and how it had become a negative pattern of behaviour (which was not serving me), I have become much more self aware.

It’s not wrong to be flexible and put yourself first, it’s not even selfish. What is wrong is putting yourself at the end of the queue of people to whom you give support, wouldn’t you agree? Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself after all, you’re fabulous! If you’ve flown on an aeroplane you’ll know in the safety instructions before you take off; the air stewards give a demonstration and say that passenger carrying small children or babies, must put the oxygen mask first. Help others happily whenever you want to, not because you feel you have no choice or because of a sense of duty.

If you recognise this pattern, and find it hard to say ‘no’ then acknowledge yourself for making this observation – that is fabulous, you are growing and raising your self esteem! One way to deal with this pattern is to think of some good answer to give when saying ‘no’ and keep practicing them until they roll off the tongue. Don’t feel guilty, this is your life – you own it, it is your time to choose how you spend it and for what purpose. Give youself a reward of some kind words, put on a feel good song or give yourself a treat and let it go, think about something good. Life is all about choices!

Wishing you oodles of self love

Ali xxx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged choice, flexible, guilt, indispensible, pattern of behaviour, saying no, saying yes, self aware, self esteem, selfish | Comments Off

Aug

The joys of motherhood

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, Teenage development.

In a recent blog I suggested that we all have many great teachers in our lives, who unwittingly shape us. Have you identified some of yours?

Apart from lovely Winnie, other great teachers in my life include my amazing daughters Becky and Anna. They really light my life and make my heart sing with happiness.

I since they were born – with Bexx who will be 18 years in 3 days and Anna coming up for 17, I have had to learn much about patience, being in the moment, unconditional love, sacrifice, negotiation skills, time keeping and much more.

In recent years, I have been learning about detachment, learning not to judge, not to jump to conclusions, not to criticise, allowing them to take responsibility and letting them make their life decisions for themselves (with my guidance) and being ok with what they decide. It’s not always easy to know the right thing to do, after all we don’t get a manual do we? I certainly don’t get it right every time either, but I do my best for them.

I follow my intuition about what’s happening and keep all communication channels open. Sometimes as a parent I know I’ve wondered if I can cope with hearing what’s going on – sometimes it can shock me, but I came to the conclusion many years ago that I would rather know and support than not know. They are my girls and I love them whatever they get up to. Because of this I feel so blessed and filled with gratitude, to be a big part of both girl’s lives with my dual role of being Mama and also best friend.

I wonder what my life could have been like if I’d not had them, it’s unimaginable now. I’m heading towards a life without them being at home with me and that fills me with wonder. It’s another learning stage and I’m looking forward to it – for all of us.

Wishing you happiness and learnings.

Ali xxx

Tagged being a mother, communication, decisions, intuition, love, motherhood, negotiation, parenthood, teenagers, unconditional love | Comments (0)

Aug

Are you good at receiving?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem, Teenage development.

For many, many years I have had a dream about going to The Ritz, London for afternoon tea. It’s not something you do alone is it? And I often wondered who I would go with, or who would take me. And last week was my birthday. To my surprise and delight my daughter Becky decided to treat me to this very special afternoon. I could not believe it! It is hugely expensive and for a student who works only part time, it is an immense gesture of love and kindness. Not only did she treat us both but also her sister Anna.

Another lesson was being taught to me; the lesson about being a gracious receiver. My first reaction was to say no, then that I should pay for it and then to suggest changing from the champagne afternoon tea to just the afternoon tea. She had taken care of everything, had worked and saved and had booked it months ago. She would not hear of me changing what she’d planned. I felt a pang of guilt as I know she intends to buy a fantastic camera and many other things but Bexx reassured me that this was her wish, something she’d wanted to do for me for years and that I would have a lovely time.

I certainly did have a lovely time. It exceeded all expectations; it was like stepping back in time, to a gentler, refined era. It was perfect. As we walked through the doors of The Ritz, it made me feel like a princess aboard the Titanic or something similar (before it went down! ), music was being played in a most genial manner, many people were dressed for the occasion and there was an air of anticipation. After visiting the ‘powder room’ – yes, it’s really called that, we were showed to a raised seating area where afternoon tea was being served. What a wonderful time we had. As my young daughter paid the bill, I let go of the guilt and felt hugely overwhelmed by her love and kindness; it was such a spectacular birthday and I felt truly blessed. I am sharing a photo and a mini video of our time at The Ritz, I hope you enjoy.

I bet you are great at giving to others, how great are you about receiving? If the pleasure is in the giving, is it unfair to not receive graciously? If our self esteem isn’t where we’d like it to be, we can feel that we don’t deserve. Receiving then feels uncomfortable. Are you aware if you do this? Next time, know you are more than deserving and give the gift of accepting as you receive.

Wishing you fabulous times

Ali xxx

Tagged accepting, Afternoon Tea, birthday, daughters, deserving, giving, guilt, kindness, receiving, self esteem, The Ritz | Comments (0)

Aug

Are you ready?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem, Setting up a business.

Have you ever considered who your greatest teachers in life may be?

These teachers often are unaware that they are shaping us to be the person we have become or are becoming.

Someone I know said recently that her dog is amongst her greatest teachers. I would have to agree with that for myself.

Until last autumn my girls and I had a beautiful, tiny, fluffy white Maltese terrier called Winnie. Winnie taught me much about living in the moment, not holding onto worries or concerns, feeling free, every day was a new day for him. He was always exploring and making new discoveries. He was fearless in many ways too – going to new places, introducing himself, making new friends big and small, he didn’t mind getting in a mess if it meant he was having fun or having a different experience. He would even get into a bit of trouble if it meant he could have what he wanted.

So many of us hold back who we really are and share with the world only a small fraction of what we truly are capable of. What is it that we are frightened of? Could it be that we don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable or jealous? Is it that we don’t know if we can carry it off – and that failure is around the corner and we worry what people will think of us? Do you do that too? What is the worst that could happen?

Imagine if you chose to live more like Winnie, just consider how different your life could be. What could you achieve that would make your heart sing, what would you be doing differently and with whom would you be sharing your life with? As you are reading this now, I have a feeling that you are more than ready.

Sometimes it takes courage to acknowledge when you are holding back; to take a leap of faith in yourself, commit to your future by honour yourself and stepping up to greatness.

If you have a feeling that this is your time and you are thinking it’s time to step up and really go for it – then join my mailing list by adding your details in the box to the left or make a note in your diary to pop back here soon as I have a very special announcement to make next week.

Wishing you happiness – and a fabulous weekend!

Ali xxx

What could you learn from Winnie?

Tagged achieve, choices, failure, heart sing, holding back, leap of faith, success, teachers | Comments (0)

Jun

Self Esteem Workshop – back by popular demand!

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.

I’m so happy to be sharing with you news of my forthcoming

Self Esteem Booster Workshop! Back by popular demand

Self esteem affects virtually every aspect of our life experience – it is the key to your success

How often do you find yourself questioning your own abilities? Is there a negative inner voice constantly putting you down? How often do you put everyone before yourself? Do you worry about your appearance or what others think of you? Are you ready to become empowered and feel fabulous?

Come to this workshop where you will recognise your own levels of self esteem the effect this has on your life, your relationships and your levels of happiness. Identify what higher self esteem will mean to you whilst learning ways to build and maintain higher self esteem.

When: Wed 14^th July 2010 Time: 9.30am – 2.30pm

Where: Near Princes Risborough, Buckinghamshire, England

Investment in yourself for this event is £67 – including refreshments, workbook and bonuses!

There are a limited number of places for this workshop.

Please book at www.meetup.com/DaringDamsels, email ali@daringdamsels.com to reserve your place without delay! www.daringdamsels.com

What did past attendees say about this workshop?

Just wanted to say I have had my check up with my own doctor who read his notes on the computer then looked at me and said he couldn’t believe it was the same person, asked what I had been doing. I said that I have been on a SELF ESTEEM course and I am trying really hard. He said ‘well, it’s working’. JB May ’10

In just a week from the from the Self Esteem workshop I feel more open and ready for the next challenge of self development that will make me happier and take back the control. I am looking forward to working with Ali in some coaching sessions. LW March ‘10

Ali is very good at what she does and her friendly approachable manner immediately puts you at ease – great atmosphere and well worth the experience. BC March ‘10

I felt that the workshop really helped me to see how I could boost my levels of self esteem and how I could become more positive in the whole of my life and really believe in myself. AM March ‘10

I just wanted to say how lovely it was to meet you today, and that the workshop was absolutely brilliant! I found it so inspiring and felt full of hope for the first time in a very long while, thank you so much. All the other ladies were so warm and friendly too. I haven’t had such a good, positive morning in many, many years. Thanks again. TN Jan ’10

I felt uplifted at the end and didn’t want the workshop to be over. I came away wanting more and feeling more positive about me! SC, Windsor Jan ’10

Tagged abilities, Buckinghamshire, fabulous, feel good, hope, inner voice, positive, Princes Risborough, self belief, self esteem, share, workshop | Comments (0)

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Categories

Perfect Days

Where Is The Love?

What do you want?

Who are you? What is your identity?

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

It is time to take a leap of faith

Find it hard to say ‘no’?

The joys of motherhood

Are you good at receiving?

Are you ready?



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