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Parenting

23

Oct

It’s Time NOW To Grab Life And Make It Happen!

Posted in happiness, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development.
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I hope you’ve all had a great weekend!  I’ve been celebrating my younger daughter’s 18th birthday which was yesterday.

Isn’t it amazing just how quickly time can fly.  It seems only yesterday she was proudly wearing my lipstick smeared all over her face toddling around in a pair of my shoes and a cheeky grin.  Actually somethings don’t change ;) Shhh… don’t tell her I said that!  And what does strike me is just how quickly time flies – you can’t stop the clock… can you?

It’s time now to grab life and make it happen.  To keep moving forward loving life, doing what makes you feel good, making empowering decisions that support you to be the best You that You can be.

  

My gorgeous Anna has grown into a beautiful young lady.

Tagged 18th Birthday, Coaching, empowered, jfdi, make it happen, time flies | Comments (0)

25

Apr

Have You Said Hello To Your Inner Child Lately?

Posted in gratitude, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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Have you enjoyed spending time with children lately?  Isn’t it just wonderful how they see the world and apart from tidying their rooms they find fun in almost anything?

They are playful, using their powerful imagination, they have a sense of wonder, excitement, are open minded, laugh freely and cry freely too!  They love to sing, dance, learn new things and would charge down the high street making silly noises if they felt like it.  They live in the moment most of the time and are freely living their truth.

Have you noticed that once we begin to develop a sense of responsibility passed to us from our families and society there come ‘rules’.  Where does the fun go?  Life is supposed to be fun.

Is it time to connect to your inner child again?  Time to feel free to just be you?  Time to play, to wonder with the eyes of an inquisitive child again?  Make time to laugh and add as much fun into every day as you can.  How can you make a chore a bit more exciting?  How could you see it differently?  What could you do just for fun today?  It could take practice if you’re out of the habit; so choose to consciously make time to just let go and enjoy yourself in this moment.

Thought for today:  I found this quote on a birthday card with a glorious picture of some women holding down their skirts whilst laughing their heads off on a 1950s fairground ride, it said:

“Never put off until tomorrow the fun you can have today.” Aldous Huxley (1894 – 1955)

Wishing you so much happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk  Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com  Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, daring damsels, excitement, fun, Inner child, living your truth, play, sense of wonder | Comments (0)

18

Apr

You Are The Miracle!

Posted in Life Challenges, Parenting, Personal Development, self esteem.
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What a treat I was given the other day!  I was invited to a girl friend’s house for coffee.  She is taking care of a young girl who had just had the most gorgeous baby. 

What a perfect little bundle of joy he is.  His tiny fingers with beautiful nails, his deep sparkling blue eyes opening occasionally to see the world he has just joined, his soft skin and pulled up knees, little gurgling sounds… oh he is just gorgeous!  What a miracle he is.  When you think how the human body can grow and nurture new life – without us having to project manage the 9 months, it really is miraculous. 

And once the baby is born everyone coos, smiles, compliments and says what a miracle – don’t you?  So when does it happen then?

When do we stop being the miracle baby and become ‘just’ me?   You are the miracle, you always have been – you always will be.  What new value could you place on your life remembering this?

It really is time to step up out of your comfort zone and embrace the world with new eyes, knowing that you are loved, respected, valued and more than enough already – exciting times!

Quote of the day: “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein 

Wishing you so much happiness

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Fab Friends Network – www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk   Daring Damsels – www.daringdamsels.com  Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, baby, belief, daring damsels, dream, miracle, new born, nurture | Comments (0)

14

Mar

Where Is The Love?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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It’s been a great day so far, lots of time to catch up on my business and also to connect with some special friends.  I hope you’re having a good day too!

Something keeps on being said in my head today – which is “Where is the love?” and it’s sung in Justin Timberlake’s voice! ;)   He sang a song with the Black Eyed Peas that has this as its title.  I thought I’d drop you a line and see if it resonates with you.

It ‘should’ all be so simple really, shouldn’t it?  We are love.  We give love.  We love to receive love.  And yet so many of us are pushing against the flow of love and feeling the resistance – which pushes us into a negative state.

When we feel fed up with our children, our partners, our friends, we can so quickly go from 0 – 60 in 5 seconds feeling anger or resentment building up inside of us.  When this happens “where is the love?”  And that’s it really.  Where does it go in that instance?

Listening to some fabulous friends today talking about their situations, I ventured to ask them the question “where is the love?”   It stopped them in their tracks.  If you could take a step away from the situation, take some deep breaths, choose to focus on feeling some love for that person – how could you handle a situation differently? 

How about next time your inner gremlin says something unkind – ask yourself the question “where is the love?” (with or without Justin’s voice!)

Quote of the day: “Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” Gary Zukav

Here it is! Sending you lots of love

Ali xx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Mentor

Fab Friends Network www.fabfriendsnetwork.co.uk   Daring Damsels www.daringdamsels.com   Facebook www.facebook.com/DaringDamsels

Tagged ali soleil, black eyed peas, daring damsels, focus, friends, happy, justin timberlake, love, negative state, resentment, self esteem, Where is the love? | Comments (0)

05

Oct

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem.
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Would you agree that as women, it is so easy to find ourselves busy being busy and we forget about letting go and enjoying life – making time to do the things we like to do?  The things that make our heart sing and give us a spring in our step.  When you value your time and choose to do something for you, let go of any negative thoughts - your self esteem rises. 

Watch this video and comment or email me what you like to do ali@daringdamsels.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you happiness

Love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged being busy, fun, happiness, leisure time, letting go, me time, negative thoughts, self esteem, women | Comments (0)

30

Aug

Find it hard to say ‘no’?

Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem, Uncategorized.
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Would you say that it’s true that when self esteem is not as high as you’d like, one of the things we’re prone to do is to say ‘yes’, when really we’d like to be saying ‘no’? 

I know for myself, that often I would put my schedule and any free time behind any requests from family or friends who asked me to support them.  I definitely wanted to help them, but I am also aware now that often I was craving significance from these people in order to feel ‘noticed’, ‘indispensible’, ‘worthy’, almost a reason for being.  If I said ‘no’ when asked for help, I’d feel guilty, as if I was letting them down.  Does this resonate with you?   

For me I was brought up to always put others first and to not to be ‘selfish’ so it came naturally to be a willing helper.  However, since realising why I had been doing this and how it had become a negative pattern of behaviour (which was not serving me), I have become much more self aware.

It’s not wrong to be flexible and put yourself first, it’s not even selfish.  What is wrong is putting yourself at the end of the queue of people to whom you give support, wouldn’t you agree?  Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself after all, you’re fabulous! If you’ve flown on an aeroplane you’ll know in the safety instructions before you take off; the air stewards give a demonstration and say that passenger carrying small children or babies, must put the oxygen mask first. Help others happily whenever you want to, not because you feel you have no choice or because of a sense of duty. 

If you recognise this pattern, and find it hard to say ‘no’ then acknowledge yourself for making this observation – that is fabulous, you are growing and raising your self esteem! One way to deal with this pattern is to think of some good answer to give when saying ‘no’ and keep practicing them until they roll off the tongue.  Don’t feel guilty, this is your life – you own it, it is your time to choose how you spend it and for what purpose.  Give youself a reward of some kind words, put on a feel good song or give yourself a treat and let it go, think about something good.  Life is all about choices!

Wishing you oodles of self love

Ali xxx

Ali Soleil – Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

Tagged choice, flexible, guilt, indispensible, pattern of behaviour, saying no, saying yes, self aware, self esteem, selfish | Comments Off

23

Aug

The joys of motherhood

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, Teenage development.
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In a recent blog I suggested that we all have many great teachers in our lives, who unwittingly shape us.  Have you identified some of yours?

Apart from lovely Winnie, other great teachers in my life include my amazing daughters Becky and Anna.  They really light my life and make my heart sing with happiness. 

I since they were born  – with Bexx  who will be 18 years in 3 days and Anna coming up for 17, I have had to learn much about patience, being in the moment, unconditional love, sacrifice, negotiation skills, time keeping and much more. 

In recent years, I have been learning about detachment, learning not to judge, not to jump to conclusions, not to criticise, allowing them to take responsibility and letting them make their life decisions for themselves (with my guidance) and being ok with what they decide.  It’s not always easy to know the right thing to do, after all we don’t get a manual do we?  I certainly don’t get it right every time either, but I do my best for them.

I follow my intuition about what’s happening and keep all communication channels open. Sometimes as a parent I know I’ve wondered if I can cope with hearing what’s going on  – sometimes it can shock me, but I came to the conclusion many years ago that I would rather know and support than not know.  They are my girls and I love them whatever they get up to.   Because of this I feel so blessed and filled with gratitude, to be a big part of both girl’s lives with my dual role of being Mama and also best friend.

I wonder what my life could have been like if I’d not had them, it’s unimaginable now.  I’m heading towards a life without them being at home with me and that fills me with wonder.  It’s another learning stage and I’m looking forward to it – for all of us.

Wishing you happiness and learnings.

Ali xxx

Tagged being a mother, communication, decisions, intuition, love, motherhood, negotiation, parenthood, teenagers, unconditional love | Comments (0)

16

Aug

Are you good at receiving?

Posted in gratitude, happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem, Teenage development.
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For many, many years I have had a dream about going to The Ritz, London for afternoon tea.  It’s not something you do alone is it?  And I often wondered who I would go with, or who would take me.  And last week was my birthday.  To my surprise and delight my daughter Becky decided to treat me to this very special afternoon.  I could not believe it!  It is hugely expensive and for a student who works only part time, it is an immense gesture of love and kindness.  Not only did she treat us both but also her sister Anna.

Another lesson was being taught to me; the lesson about being a gracious receiver.  My first reaction was to say no, then that I should pay for it and then to suggest changing from the champagne afternoon tea to just the afternoon tea.  She had taken care of everything, had worked and saved and had booked it months ago.  She would not hear of me changing what she’d planned.  I felt a pang of guilt as I know she intends to buy a fantastic camera and many other things but Bexx reassured me that this was her wish, something she’d wanted to do for me for years and that I would have a lovely time.

I certainly did have a lovely time.  It exceeded all expectations; it was like stepping back in time, to a gentler, refined era.  It was perfect.  As we walked through the doors of The Ritz, it made me feel like a princess aboard the Titanic or something similar (before it went down! ;) ), music was being played in a most genial manner, many people were dressed for the occasion and there was an air of anticipation.  After visiting the ‘powder room’ – yes, it’s really called that, we were showed to a raised seating area where afternoon tea was being served.  What a wonderful time we had.  As my young daughter paid the bill, I let go of the guilt and felt hugely overwhelmed by her love and kindness; it was such a spectacular birthday and I felt truly blessed.  I am sharing a photo and a mini video of our time at The Ritz, I hope you enjoy.

I bet you are great at giving to others, how great are you about receiving?  If the pleasure is in the giving, is it unfair to not receive graciously?  If our self esteem isn’t where we’d like it to be, we can feel that we don’t deserve.  Receiving then feels uncomfortable.  Are you aware if you do this?  Next time, know you are more than deserving and give the gift of accepting as you receive.

Wishing you fabulous times

Ali xxx

Tagged accepting, Afternoon Tea, birthday, daughters, deserving, giving, guilt, kindness, receiving, self esteem, The Ritz | Comments (0)

29

Dec

My car has broken down and it’s ok…

Posted in happiness, Parenting, Personal Development, self esteem, Uncategorized.
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I watched my car being towed away this morning… The windscreen wipers stopped working on Christmas Eve so my plans were scuppered over Christmas to visit family and friends.  This morning with the garages re-opening I thought I’d take it to the main dealer as they may have the parts in stock… however, this morning my car wouldn’t even start so I had no choice but to get the rescue service to tow it to the garage (for which I am grateful ;) ).

The windscreen wipers seem such a trivial thing in many ways… two thin blades that swish across the screen and yet even when it’s not raining – prevent us from safely driving.  I had to cancel my plans to visit my family over Christmas and now it seems my New Year plans maybe scuppered.

When our cars work we tend to take them for granted, but when they don’t, it is then that we really appreciate how magical it is to have our own transport (after all I don’t know how they work!).

I think that is true of so much in life.  We can be so busy rushing here and there we don’t remember to take time to appreciate just how fortunate we are.  We may not have all the material things we’d like to have or the perfect health – but there will be something for all of us to be grateful for.  Perhaps having arms and legs that work? It may be having eyes to see your loved ones or ears to hear the birds singing?  May be having a strong connection with friends and family feels good to you?

When was the last time you stopped what you were doing to feel gratitude for all that you have and all that you experience?  When we choose to relax and feel gratitude, it changes our ‘state of being’; we become filled with a blissful feeling… and at that moment we cannot have negative emotions of fear or anger.  Love and fear cannot be felt at the same time. 

It’s so easy to change your emotional state – if you choose to.  If you have just had something not very nice happen or said to you, if you’ve had cross words with someone or feel like everything is going wrong take a moment to STOP. 

Take some deep breaths and feel some gratitude for what you do have or what you do love… if you’ve just fallen out with someone – think about the reasons you became friends with them or what they do that makes you laugh – or why you love them – choose to feel appreciation for something connected with them.  It’s about choice – choose to feel better – letting the anger or disappointment go.  Decide to put yourself back in control rather than a victim.  Ask yourself “do I want to stay feeling annoyed or would I rather feel ok, or even happy?”  We tend not to make good decisions when we’re angry or annoyed.   

My girls and I often start our day with a question ‘what am I grateful for?’  Often they say “it’s not raining so I won’t get wet walking to school” or “Ghd’s (hair straighteners)”… it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s heartfelt.   It can be a great way to start the day – something positive rather than pulling back the duvet and thinking… “ugh… it’s cold, I’ve got that horrible meeting today”…. having negative thoughts is so disempowering – wouldn’t you agree?

So I’m not sure when I’ll get my car back – but I’m going to choose to appreciate my friends for helping me, the public bus, the garage and the fact I can delay my New Year plans if I need to… I’m choosing to be ok with this unexpected adventure :) .

What are you grateful for?  What can you see or hear right now?  Think of a time when you felt really happy or bursting with laughter – what was that occasion?  Can you feel the feelings again?  How easy would it be for you to have this memory as something to draw on when you’re not feeling so good – a memory that can conjure up the good emotions?  Perhaps, find a piece of paper (or better still a notebook) and write down a list of what you are grateful for – you can then refer to this list daily – or when you feel the negative feelings creeping up on you.  We have choice, sometimes we forget – or don’t realise.  It’s so much better when we focus on what we want instead of what we don’t want.  As I blogged yesterday, sometimes our greatest growth comes from achieving what we think we cannot – consider what benefits may come from facing challenges more positively.  Life is supposed to be fun!  Let’s make it fun :)

Tagged achieve, anger, appreciation, being in control, challenge, choice, feeling good, gratitude, life choices, negative emotions, victim | Comments (2)

21

Nov

A perfect day

Posted in Parenting.
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What a lazy day I’m having… I woke late morning, treated myself to coffee and toast in bed – and a long, fabulous catch up chat with my eldest daughter.  So good to reconnect after a busy week.  A chance to mull over the events and share funny stories.

This afternoon I’m meeting my youngest daughter at the local cinema to see Michael Jackson’s This Is It… we had tickets to for one of his shows in July – so finally having time together to see the film will be a special for us.  Have you noticed how we can bumble along in life, putting things off until tomorrow, things we’d really like to do or have… and then when someones life comes to an end suddenly,  it does come as a shock and put ones own life into perspective doesn’t it?  We realise just how precious our time here is… What have you been putting off that you’d really like to do?

After the film I’m meeting my eldest daughter – we’re off to Windsor to an art gallery where Fabian Perez, the Argentinian, now LA based artist,  is unveiling his stunning new collection of paintings.  As the proud owner of 2 pieces of his art work, I’m always excited to meet the artist – nothing to do with the fact he’s drop dead gorgeous ;)  My daughter who is an art/film student will love this experience, as well as sipping on champagne – and preventing me from making another purchase! :)   Going to these events always adds sparkle to my life… to see someone who from ‘some where’ and ‘some how’ has achieved outstanding success – from living in Buenos Aires – becoming a painter… and who is now internationally recognised and who has been chosen as one of the official artists of the London 2012 Olympics!  Fantastic… Mmm… his story focuses me on my goals and Henry Ford’s famous quote springs to mind ‘if you think you can do a thing, or think you can’t your right’ which is it to be?

After our champagne, we’re off for dinner and to admire Windsor Castle by night… it always looks spectacular at night – lit to perfection, it seems to tower (literally) over you as you walk along the winding road that stretches around its solid walls…

This is a perfect day – a day of fun with my girls, a day of treats and remembering live is meant to be FUN!  I’m so aware that they will be flying the nest over the next few years, it’s great to have days like this with them.  What fun things will you do today?  What could you do?  Who would you choose to share your time with?  Who could you call today for a catch up?

Happy Saturday everyone!  Ps… here’s a link to Fabian Perez’s web site www.fabianperez.com

Tagged choice, Fabian Perez, Henry Ford, Michael Jackson, paintings, time is precious, Windsor Castle | Comments (0)
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